beginning.” Her chest felt tight again. All the work Zep had done the night before and this morning washed away. She was going to have to make a decision and she wasn’t even close to being ready. “You always knew I didn’t mean to stay. When I mentioned I was even thinking about it, Major was surprised.”
“Yes, well, what you didn’t know is that I never intended for you to leave,” Armie admitted. “Yes, I was going to make those calls for you. I have and I’ve got feelers out both in New Orleans and Dallas, where I have contacts. But I was going to try to talk you out of it because I think this place has been good for you. And I think you’re good for Papillon.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“Having a woman in the department has changed a lot of things for us. I know you were one of a few women on your team, and that was a big deal. You were a role model for other women in New York, but here in Papillon, you’re a role model for every girl who would have grown up never seeing a woman with a badge. You are the only woman officer we’ve ever had, and it’s made a huge difference.”
“I’m the first? You never told me that. Maybe that’s why I had to explain to several people that I wasn’t a stripper the first couple of months I was here.” It had been an odd transition.
“Do you know what it meant for me to bring you here? A smart, tough woman for our girls to look up to? For our women to feel comfortable talking about their problems with?” Armie’s face was set in grim lines. “I understand that you need to do what’s best for you, and I can’t offer you the kind of money they will. I can’t offer you the type of career you’ll get there, but I promise you that you’ll make a difference here that no one else can.”
“Are you asking me to stay?”
He nodded. “Yes. Shamelessly. I don’t want to lose you.”
Her heart actually hurt. “God, that’s not fair, Armie. I never promised I would stay.”
“And yet I want you to.” He sat back. “But know that I’ll support you no matter what you decide.”
“As I haven’t been offered anything but my father’s hints, I can’t say there’s a decision to be made yet.” But if there were rumors running through the precincts, then it was likely someone would contact her. It wouldn’t be her father. It would be someone from One Police Plaza.
Wouldn’t she be the stupidest woman in the world if she turned down an offer to return in a blaze of glory in order to stay in Papillon and play house with her boyfriend?
Wasn’t that what she’d tried to avoid all her life? Becoming her mom? Giving up all her hopes and dreams for some guy.
But what had Zep said yesterday? Sometimes dreams changed. Sometimes life opened a path a person hadn’t thought of as viable before.
Was staying in Papillon a viable life for her?
There was a knock on the door, and she looked through the window. Zep stood there, the laptop she’d given him in his hand.
“Just remember you’re wanted here. Even if you leave, you’ll always have a place with this department, and I think you’ll find you have a place with that man standing there,” Armie said before he raised a hand. “Come on in, Zep.”
He opened the door and walked in. It was as if the sun had come with him. That smile of his worked wonders on her mood. “Hey, bab . . . I mean, good afternoon, Deputy. I did that report you wanted me to do and I didn’t even answer sarcastically.”
Armie’s eyes rolled. “Like I don’t know you’re basically living together, and it’s gone way further than you needed to hide the fact that Roxie’s been pining for you since she met you.”
She felt heat flood her face. She never got embarrassed, but then maybe that was because she rarely truly cared. Her feelings for Zep were real, and that made her vulnerable.
“Pining. That word gets tossed around a lot.” Zep didn’t make a big deal out of it. He simply set the laptop on Armie’s desk and gave her a wink. “My brother used it talking about me the other day. In that scenario, I was the one pining for you. What the hell does pining mean? It’s weird.”