Bash (Kings of Carnage MC #1) - Sapphire Knight Page 0,20
wrapped up in my torturous thoughts of my dad. I can’t believe I lost myself like that in front of him. I was relaxing watching Bash, and in the next minute, I was trapped in my mind.
“Oh, what were you saying?” I meet his azure irises, feeling a bit shaky and thrown off-kilter. He must already believe me to be a needy loser; I don’t want to add scatterbrained crazy person to that list as well.
“I asked if you’re all right.” His hand moves to lift my chin higher.
I’d had it tucked into my chest as I’d been immersed in my head. He does that a lot, having me meet his eyes when we talk. Not that I mind. I like it, but it also makes it harder for me to keep things from him. In another life, I like to think that I could be completely honest with him, and he’d accept me for all my flaws. Maybe he’d tell me everything would be okay and seal it with a kiss? A girl can dream about such comforts, right?
“Of course, I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”
His thumb tenderly caresses my cheek. “You whimpered, baby. I thought you were upset, and it caught me off guard.”
I swallow, my throat feeling dry suddenly. Jesus, the things this man does to me with a simple, innocent touch. My lashes flutter as I attempt to get myself together and not be so easily affected by him. We’ve almost kissed nearly every day this last week, and it’s been freaking torture to not give in to the natural feeling. At least, I think it’s natural. I don’t know what it is, but something about Bash pulls me to him. “I was, uh, thinking about my father. I miss him. I miss him really bad; it hurts my heart.”
His worried stare softens, and he pulls me into his chest, wrapping his strong arms around me. I’ve come to discover that Bash is a hugger. I didn’t realize how badly I needed his embraces until they started happening a couple days ago. “I’m here if you need me. I know I’m not your dad and all, but I got you, Sweet Pea. You can talk to me about anything, at any time. Even if it’s late, you know where my place is. Don’t hesitate to stop over…I mean it.”
A lone tear trails down my face. I can’t allow myself to sob in grief like I so desperately desire to. It’ll invite too much attention, and that’s the last thing I need. My hands smooth over his strong middle, my grip lightly resting on his sides. Even when I’m distressed, I can’t help but notice how sexy he is. He’s had his ribs wrapped up since his wreck, and I’ve selfishly ignored the pain he must be in. He’s been riding his motorcycle every day to give me rides and fixing my car. It wouldn’t hurt me to offer to help him out, even if it’s getting him to take it easy at times. I need to stop making everything about me when it comes to Bash because he always thinks of others. He deserves to have that as well, whether we’re only friends or not.
“Thank you, Sebastian.” I sigh. “That means a lot. More than you realize.”
He plants a kiss to the top of my hair. Pulling away a little, he peeks down at my face and uses his thumb to wipe my warm salty tear away. “How can I make you happy? You’re too beautiful to cry and me not fix it somehow.”
I shrug. I can’t believe what he’s asking me. It’s more than anyone else has done since I left my home and everything else behind. I stuffed a duffle bag full of my essentials and left the rest of my possessions behind. I had to keep my best friend safe from Jerome’s family, and the easiest way to do that was to leave.
Inhaling, I manage to question, “You ever have those days when you’re just sad?” Bash doesn’t reply, but rather, he squeezes me to him tighter. “I think it’s one of those days for me,” I end up acknowledging.
“Fuck, Savannah. Honestly, I don’t know if I can handle you being depressed over shit. I don’t want to freak you out, but it’s messing me up inside to see someone so innocent, like you, dealin’ with it. I wish there was someone physically messing with you, so I could fuckin’ strangle them for