Bared Souls - Ellie Wade Page 0,45
Little Miss Perfect is embarrassed to be with me, you see?”
I’m assuming he’s saying all of this for the hooker’s benefit, but she’s completely zoned out.
“Can you please give us a minute?” I say to the girl in Leo’s lap.
She looks at me, confused.
“She said, get the fuck out, Stacy!” Leo tilts his legs, so she slides off onto the futon. “Get out,” he barks, and she rolls her eyes before standing and walking out.
I shut the door behind her. “Is she going to be okay? She seems off.”
“She’s fine.”
“Were you doing anything with her?” My voice is hesitant, and I’m terrified of his answer.
“No. She, unlike the only person you care about in this world, knows that we’re dating,” he grumbles, and I notice that his words are slurred.
“Are you drunk?”
“Something like that,” he huffs.
“So, you get mad at me, and the first thing you do is get wasted?”
“I don’t know. You talk to that guy every single fucking day, and I just never came up?” he snaps out a question in response to my own. “Are you that fucking ashamed to be with me?”
“No, of course not. I was going to tell him.”
“Well, if it were important to you, you would have.”
Leo is different. His voice is off. His eyes don’t seem to be able to focus on me. His entire demeanor has changed, and it makes me uncomfortable.
“I don’t like you like this,” I admit.
“Yeah, well, I don’t like you very much either.”
I stand, staring at this beautiful, broken man, and I don’t know what to do. Should I leave? Should I stay? We’re so different. Maybe I’m just kidding myself in all of this. We’ve been happy for three weeks, and now, we’re fighting again.
I contemplate my next move, failing to realize that tears are falling down my face until Leo points them out.
“I’m sorry.” He rushes toward me and pulls me into a hug. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry, Alma. I’m sorry. I just love you so much, and I want you to love me back.”
I stiffen at his words. “You can’t tell me you love me for the first time when you’re wasted, Leo. That doesn’t count.”
“I do love you, Alma. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. Love me back,” he pleads.
“Let’s get you home. We’ll talk tomorrow.” I wipe my cheeks, removing any trace of mascara-coated tears.
I text both Quinn and Amos to let them know that Leo’s not feeling well and that I’m taking him over to his house. In my text to Amos, I apologize and promise that we’ll hang together soon. I know if I go and find Amos downstairs, he’ll see that I’ve been crying and worry. I don’t want him to be concerned when, moments ago, I was telling him how amazing Leo was.
“You’ll stay with me, right?” Leo’s question makes him sound like a little boy.
“Yeah, I’ll stay.”
I lead Leo down the stairs, and we exit right off the back door in the kitchen. Once we’re across the street, I unlock his door, and we go inside. I’m grateful to have space between me and that party. I can’t say I’ve ever had fun at one of them.
We brush our teeth together in the bathroom, and I make sure that Leo drinks some water. Once in bed, I don’t allow him to kiss me, but I let him hold me. He tells me he loves me again, but I feign sleep. The thought that perhaps love isn’t enough echoes deep within my soul.
TWENTY-ONE
Alma
Leo wakes, screaming from another nightmare. I calm him down, and he holds me while drifting back to sleep. He doesn’t seem to remember the night terrors in the morning, which is probably a blessing for him. Though I can’t get his tortured cries out of my mind.
Sleep evades me for most of the night. My brain won’t stop weighing all the options. The blatant differences between Leo and me keeps me tossing and turning, but the glaring truth makes me stay—and that’s that I love Leo. I do. I’m drawn to him on a spiritual level. It doesn’t make sense, and I can’t always put words to our connection. Just like faith, love is hard to prove, but when it’s present, it’s impossible to ignore. I feel it. I believe it. I need it.
I need Leo.
Sleep doesn’t come, so I decide to get up. I’ll go back to the dorm to shower and get ready for the day. I