The Bad Boy of Redemption Ranch - Maisey Yates Page 0,73

her wanted to run and hide from it. Most of her wanted to pretend that none of this was happening. But... It was. It was, and she wasn’t handling it well on her own. Not at all. She had now had sex with the man in two very unconventional places. And she didn’t know what to make of that. What to make of herself. What to do with herself.

“It’s okay,” Sammy said, keeping her voice knowing and authoritative.

“You don’t know it’s okay,” Iris said.

Sometimes Pansy thought that Iris might find Sammy’s intrusiveness a little bit irritating. They weren’t far apart in age, but because Sammy had imprinted on Ryder, Sammy identified more with the way he treated all of them. But Iris was the older sister to Pansy and Rose. And sometimes Sammy took that spot.

“It... I don’t know,” Pansy said.

Rose was looking at her beseechingly, and she had a feeling that what Rose was beseeching for was physical details and not any kind of emotional update. Iris, she knew, would be concerned with her emotional state.

“I... I had sex with him,” Pansy said.

A whole lot of movement happened at once. Rose slammed her hands down on the table, Iris seemed to shrink in on herself. And Sammy wrapped her soft arms around Pansy, bringing her fragrant scent into Pansy’s orbit.

“That’s good,” Sammy said at the same time Iris said, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” Pansy said. “But I’m not exactly ready to wave a flag or celebrate it.”

“Why not?” Sammy asked. “You lost your virginity. Which, frankly is a social construct, and not something that you should be worried about anyway.”

“It felt like a construct of my hymen at the time,” Pansy said, her tone dry.

Iris winced. Rose looked wide-eyed and bemused.

“You know what I mean,” Sammy said. “You don’t need to be ashamed of your sexuality just because you’re a woman. Do you think any of the guys in this house swan around feeling concerned about how many women they’ve slept with? About where it might be going when they do? No,” she continued. “They don’t, because they are blessedly free of those kinds of societal expectations.”

“The thing about societal expectations,” Iris said, her tone stern, “is that when you violate them it does tend to be noticed. Because they are societal expectations.”

“Who cares?” Sammy asked, lifting her hands and turning back toward the oven in a swirl of skirts and blond hair.

“Says the woman who lives in a caravan.”

“Yes,” Sammy said, turning and glaring pointedly at Iris. “I do. I gaily choose to defy social norms. It makes me happy. And ultimately, that is the point. You should make yourself happy. Because there’s no guarantee that there’s going to be a future. You of all people should know that.”

Rose scowled. “Don’t talk about the life lessons we should have learned from our parents dying. Your parents are across the field and you don’t know how to have a conversation with them.”

Pansy’s stomach tightened. She didn’t know the whole story about Sammy and her parents, but she never would have gone there.

“Some things are more complicated than you might think, Rose,” Sammy said.

Pansy looked from Iris to Rose to Sammy. She would have expected an explosion somewhere along the chain except... Sammy just would never let it get there.

Iris would probably gladly duke it out. Rose would happily start or finish any fight. But Sammy never would. She would contort and twist and dance around the expected fight.

It was just who she was. She liked things soft and easy. Diffused. It was nice to have her here as a counterbalance to Iris, who was far too practical.

But who also probably had a better grasp on how Pansy actually felt.

And essentially, Pansy wanted both reactions. She wanted Iris to slap her upside the head and tell her to quit being stupid. And she wanted Sammy to tell her that she wasn’t being all that stupid after all. And she wanted Rose to be in awe of her, because somebody should be. Because she’d had sex in a barn, and then again in the basement of the museum. A public building. And that was a whole lot more daring than she had ever imagined she might be.

“How do you feel about it?” Sammy asked, clearly deciding to take a different tack.

“I’ve lost my mind,” Pansy said. “That’s how I feel. I’m always controlled. Always. And suddenly, there’s West Caldwell, and I do really ridiculous things. Stupid things. Incredibly stupid