I thought my life was hell until the devil walked through my door. He wore a wicked smile and a familiar face. That day I looked into his blue eyes—the eyes of the only man I’ll ever love—and all I found was hatred.
Baudelaire said the loveliest trick of the devil is to persuade you he doesn’t exist.
He’s wrong. Sterling Ford is the devil, and his greatest trick was convincing me we had something real. Five years ago. Last night. It doesn’t matter. I fell for his lies.
One month. That’s how long it took him to get under my skin and to get me back in his bed. Stupid doesn’t begin to cover it. Reckless? Maybe. Self-destructive? Definitely. And now he thinks he can mess with my heart. Two can play that game. Let’s see how he likes coming home to an empty bed.
That’s why I’m sitting in my car at the stoplight on the corner, blinking back tears, as he jogs down the street with Zeus. Sterling looks as free as his adopted bulldog as they run toward his apartment building, Twelve and South. My insides twist and I consider ducking out of sight.
I don’t.
I’m done hiding from this man. I’m not running from him or his lies anymore. I’m walking away. I should have set his house on fire. The message would have been loud and clear. Maybe then he’d stop toying with me. I eye his black canine companion and remind myself that I love him—the dog, not the man. Zeus deserves a good home. At least his owner is better with pets than people.
Despite that, I’m watching him in my rearview mirror. Sterling pauses at the entrance to open a door for someone with a baby stroller, and I wonder for an instant what would happen if he looked up. My car is directly in his line of sight. He’s not about to mistake the Roadster for someone else’s car. I imagine him spotting me. He’d walk over, and what? Ask me where I was going? What would I say? Would I explain myself? I can almost hear it: Sorry your girlfriend texted you. I figured I should bow out. That would be damn near civil. I can’t have that. Maybe I would demand answers? Except I don’t want to hear his excuses. Sterling doesn’t deserve a second more of my time. He’s stolen enough from me. Five years of my life gone like they mean nothing. Anger churns inside me until I wish he would see me. Maybe I should have stayed and confronted him. Gotten the answers I deserve.
He steps inside the building, and my fantasies dissolve. He’s not going to come after me. There will be no reckoning. I don’t realize how tightly I’m gripping the leather steering wheel until a loud honk sends me jumping in my seat, the wheel my only anchor. The light turns green and I gun it through the intersection, speeding away from the wreckage of us.
I’m glad he didn’t see me. This time I’m not waiting around for Sterling to leave again. I refuse to look for a reason for his betrayal, because I already know why he did it. I need to accept the truth that’s been right in front of me the whole time. Sterling Ford didn’t come back because he loves me. He came back because he hates me.
This isn’t a game anymore. This is war.
Adair
Five Year in the Past
This is going exactly as I expected.
A surprise birthday party—the last thing I wanted tonight—and now an obviously pissed Sterling stalking back to me.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
He doesn’t look up. He just keeps his hands shoved into his jeans, his glare directed at the driveway. “Too many people,” he grumbles. “I just wanted to get out of here. I didn’t think you’d care.”
“You didn’t think I’d…” How can he think that after I made it clear he was the only person I wanted to see today? A raw ache swells in my throat. “You were just going to take off. I was going to…”
I cut myself off again. The only way to be even more inexperienced in Sterling’s eyes is to make a big deal over losing my virginity. That’s so not how I want that to happen. I’m not some maiden waiting for my wedding night in a novel. It just seemed like a pretty good way to take my mind off my birthday. I thought he understood that. I guess I was