to hold you. Remember what I said about your skin? I want to taste it again.’
He moved his hand across the car, and started to stroke her thigh. She closed her eyes to disguise her repugnance at his touch, but he immediately misread her signals.
‘I know you want me to touch you. I want to take you somewhere and slowly remove your clothes, piece by piece. I want to feel your silky soft skin next to mine, and I want to take hours just loving you. I’ll be so gentle with you, Ellie. I want your legs wrapped around me, holding me inside you. We need to do this, darling.’
This was all her fault. He had made it plain how he felt about her, and if she hadn’t been feeling so vulnerable and unloved that day, certain that Max was betraying her, she would never have let it happen. She’d stopped just in time. But of course now he wanted to finish what they had started.
How could she make him go away? Leave her alone? She had to think very carefully about what to say. She turned to look at him, trying to ignore the gleam of desire in his eyes.
‘I’m sorry. I really am terribly sorry. I know this is all my fault. But that day… It was a mistake. A stupid, cruel mistake. I thought Max was having an affair, and I was overwhelmed with hurt. Don’t look at me like that - I know that I’m probably right about Max, but even so it doesn’t excuse my behaviour. He’d lied to me. He said he was with Pat, but he wasn’t. I knew he was with her. I was so vulnerable, and you made me feel attractive and exciting. For one wild moment I thought that if I could be unfaithful too, it would make it easier to forgive Max. It was such a ridiculous idea.’
‘It wasn’t ridiculous at all,’ he said, gently kneading her thigh. She wanted him to stop, but there was a wildness to his eyes, and she was no longer sure of his reactions. ‘Men only lie about where they are if they’re somewhere they’re not supposed to be. It’s all true, Ellie. I’ve seen them together in the pub. In theory, they’re with all the other teachers from the school, but in reality they’re always together - talking quietly to each other. Excluding everybody else. I don’t want to hurt you, but you need to believe me.’
‘Even so, two wrongs don’t make a right. I used you, and I am ashamed of that. All I can do is say that I’m sorry. But this business of following me has to stop. And no more roses. Please. I know you don’t mean to, but you’re scaring me.’
He reached out, as if he was going to touch her face. Ellie instinctively jerked her head away, and he dropped his hand back to her thigh. It made her shudder, but she couldn’t push him too far.
‘But the roses are symbolic for us, aren’t they. Don’t you remember?
How could she forget? Why did she ever tell him that her favourite yellow roses were being planted that day? He seemed to believe there was some romantic link between the roses and what had happened between them. It was all in his mind.
‘There’s nothing to remember. Two events, not in any way connected.’
As she spoke, Ellie could see him shaking his head slowly from side to side.
‘You’re lying to yourself, darling. Look, Max is having an affair. He’s probably going to leave you. How much evidence do you need? You know he’s been lying to you. So why wait for him? Why not be the one to take control, and tell him that you’ve found somebody that loves you and wants you, and will never let you down. We belong together, Ellie. Whatever the obstacles.’
Ellie closed her eyes. She didn’t want to cry, but she was lost.
‘I can’t do this. Please, leave me alone. Look - I’ve just left the hospital where there is a young girl, knocked down and left for dead, who may never recover from her injuries. That’s a tragedy. Whatever happened to her, she didn’t deserve this. We are adults. We have choices, and we should make those that cause the least hurt. And I need you to go.’
She looked at him, and the desire in his eyes had been replaced by something else. Something that scared her more. It was determination.