knew how it felt to be loved.’ Ellie saw the dawning realisation on Leo’s face that this might make sense.
‘Oh Ellie, I’m so sorry. I never knew you felt like that. I’m sure your mother loved you, in her own way.’
Ellie snorted. ‘What way was that, Leo? The controlling, emotionless, lying way? She may have made a slave out of you, but everything she made me do - the piano, the relentless studying, the extra tutor lessons - they were all designed to show that her daughter was better than the cuckoo in her nest. It had nothing to do with love. But I always felt that Dad loved me. I know he wasn’t around much, but when he was, he was kind to me. He stopped her from doing her worst, I think. I felt happy when he was there.’
Leo said nothing, and Ellie knew she wasn’t convinced.
‘I’m sure he would have shown you some affection if you’d only let him in - but you know what you were like. You wouldn’t even speak to him.’
‘As a parent yourself, Ellie, I thought you would know better than that. You don’t give love to your child on the basis that they must reciprocate. He wanted payback for any affection he doled out. He got it from you, but I was too much like hard work and not worth the effort.’
‘You mustn’t think like that. That’s one of the reasons that I hope we can find him now - after all these years. I know she had him declared dead, but that just means she couldn’t find him. Perhaps he didn’t want to be found. He didn’t run away from us, he ran away from my mother. She’s dead - so it’s safe for him to come back. And you never know, you might see him for what he really is.’
Leo’s silence was absolute, and Ellie knew that she was fighting a losing battle. For Ellie, her father had been her saviour - the only person who had the slightest control over his wife’s excesses, and the only person - until Max - to show her any affection. For Leo, he was the man that had ruined her life by bringing her to live with a stepmother who despised her.
* * *
As she indicated to turn into the gates of Willow Farm, Leo felt quite relieved. She had never thought she would be pleased to see this house in her lifetime, but she didn’t want to listen to Ellie raving about their father’s finer points. She was going to have to talk to her sister about this obsession with the idea of him suddenly materialising from nowhere, but there hadn’t been time. They’d been too close to home when the conversation started. She pulled up and turned off the engine.
With the windows open to let in some of the summer breeze, Leo could hear shouts and laughter coming from the garden to the side of the house and she could see Max playing with the children. They were having a great time, and Leo turned to Ellie with a smile.
‘Come on, Ellie. Let’s get the car unpacked and go and join in the fun. It looks like they’re playing some sort of croquet, of all things.’
Ellie paused for a beat before replying, looking with love at her family cavorting on the lawn. It seemed to Leo that she mentally shook herself and then gave a big smile.
‘Good idea.’
Max had seen them arrive, and came bounding over to the car like an eager puppy as they climbed out. He always looked so delighted to see Ellie, and Leo stood still and watched. He put his arms round his wife and gave her a hug, and Leo thought she heard a whispered ‘sorry’. Ellie rested her forehead briefly on his shoulder, then looked at him with a sad smile.
‘Me too,’ Leo heard her say softly.
‘Okay girls, you go and play with the twins, and I’ll unpack the shopping. I’ll bring you out a drink when I’ve finished and you can tell me what you’ve been buying.’
At Leo’s attempted protest, Max shooed them both away.
Leo and Ellie walked across the lawn to where the twins were indeed playing what could loosely be described as croquet. Max appeared to have constructed some sort of extra wide hoops out of wire, and they were playing with tennis balls and what looked like an old brush that Max had cut the bristles off, shortened, and fashioned into