Bachelor Swap - Lacey Black Page 0,80

that might entail—or who. Right now, I just need to relax and take a nap, and maybe then, I’ll be able to think about what I really want and whether or not it’s obtainable.

I place my cup in the sink and head for the stairs, wishing the ache in my chest would just stop, at least for a little while. But I’m guessing I’ll be carrying that particular pain for the rest of my life. All I can do is pray it subsides enough to get through the day without continually thinking of him.

Easier said than done.

***

By Monday morning, I’m more than ready to get out of my penthouse. I need fresh air and sunshine and fewer walls closing in on me. It was good to use yesterday as a day of relaxation and reflection. Sure, there were tears. A lot of them actually. Just when I thought I couldn’t cry any more, they’d just start to fall all over again.

Midafternoon, I went downstairs to grab something to eat. That’s when I found Mason’s bag sitting along the wall. I knew what it contained, and while I tried my hardest to ignore its presence in my residence, I ended up opening the bag and pulling a T-shirt out. Only then did I return to my bedroom, remove my own pajamas and slip his shirt over my head. The cool cotton did nothing to soothe my achy heart, but it did help me fall asleep. I ended up wearing it the rest of the day.

And the night too.

Now, I need something that’s just mine. Something that will help bridge the pain in my chest and the confusion in my head with some normalcy. After pulling into the small parking lot behind the shelter, I already feel my mood shifting. Even when I pull open the door and come face to face with Edith’s concerned gaze, I still feel better.

“Good morning,” I chirp, pasting on a big smile.

“Morning. Feeling better?” she asks, her critical eyes searching me from head to toe.

“Yes, thank you,” I reply, bypassing the front desk and heading for the back room. I can already hear the dogs barking.

“You sure?” she asks.

I pause before heading inside to start today’s volunteer task sheet. When I meet her gaze, I give her a small smile. “I will be.”

Pushing through the door, I stand there for a few minutes and just take in the scene. Some of the pups sit there, watching me, while others are spinning excited little circles in their kennels. I head over and grab the clipboard, ready to start, when something catches my eye.

Hattie’s name is crossed off.

My eyes fly to her kennel, only to find it empty. I don’t even know why my eyes start to burn. I mean, it wasn’t like I knew young Hattie very long, but the thought of her being adopted brings on a wave of melancholy. I should be happy. This is a good thing, right? This is the goal of every animal we have at Boston Cares Shelter.

The door behind me opens and Edith walks in.

“Where’s Hattie?” I ask, trying to figure out why I’m so sad to see the small terrier gone.

“Adopted. Yesterday, actually. She was super delighted, and the new owner passed all the application processes. They went home yesterday afternoon,” she says happily.

“I’ve never known you to release a pet before the twenty-four to forty-eight hour waiting period,” I say through a throat clogged with emotion.

“Well, I make an exception every now and again, and since it was their second in-person visit together, I went ahead and approved her adoption. Plus, the owner made a considerable donation to the shelter,” Edith adds with a chuckle.

I hear about half of what she says as she goes over today’s list, but my focus keeps returning to the empty kennel. I don’t know why I’m so saddened by Hattie’s departure, but I am. I didn’t even know her very well. I mean, she’d only been here a week before she was taken to her forever home, but her exit feels like a bullet hole-sized wound in my chest.

Maybe it was because the last time I saw her, she was curled up on Mason’s lap, playing with a ball. It could be the correlation connecting that particular dog to a time when my heart wasn’t broken, and things made sense. She was a link to Mason, or the man I once knew as Matthew. Before the gala and everything unraveled like a