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family planning clinic was my mother.

I loved the fact that after our respective dates had gone home, be it that night or the morning after, we would sit together on the sofa and recount every detail, giggle together, drink vodka and tonics when we were happy, and eat giant-sized Cadbury Dairy Milk bars when we were sad.

She lives in Lewes now. Still single. There are times when I think she ought to settle down. Not because she's unhappy, but because the older you get, the harder it is on your own, and because I think she deserves someone to take care of her. But she has her friends, her dog, and now her bridge, and she says that's all she needs in life. Oh, and me of course, which is why she's coming to see me this weekend.

“So come on, cagey.” Viv's had the guided tour of the Belsize Park flat (which took all of five minutes), and has whisked me up to town to do some shopping. We hopped on the bus at Swiss Cottage and are heading up Wellington Road toward Selfridges, also known, to my mother at least, as Mecca.

“Come on what?”

“I've seen the flat, I've seen how well London suits you, I've heard all about your work, but I haven't heard a murmur about your love life.”

“What love life?” I mutter darkly, because that's the one area that hasn't been going too smoothly. In fact, since that one episode in the alleyway with Mark, there's been nothing. And really, I can't count that. Yes, I found him incredibly sexy that night, but it was a true one-night stand if ever there was one, and not something either of us will be repeating.

“Didn't you mention something about a man at work? The, what was it . . . accountant? No! The lawyer. Didn't you have a bit of a fling with the lawyer at work? What happened to him? He sounded pretty nice.”

Bugger. I forgot I had spoken to her the next day, and had told her all about it.

“Nothing's going on,” I sigh, looking out the window. “Lovely guy, but he's got a girlfriend and he's at work so it would be complicated even if he didn't, and he probably isn't for me anyway.”

“Funny isn't it.” She turns to me. “I always thought if I moved to London I'd definitely find a man. I thought the streets were paved with men. I suppose, though, wherever you go, your life is still your life and you're still you. But I always thought things would be different in London. More glamorous. More exciting.”

“What do you mean, you thought you'd find a man? You never wanted a man, remember?”

She smiles. “Ah, is that what I said? I suppose I never found a man who matched my requirements.”

“What do you mean?”

She shrugs. “The more time I spent on my own, just you and me together, the more expectations I had. It wasn't enough that someone should be loving, or loyal, or good to you. I thought that he also had to be handsome and funny and clever and creative, and in those days I thought money was important too.”

“But those things are important,” I say, confused.

“They can be, but they're not crucial. I had relationships with wonderful men, but I expected too much from them, and always moved on thinking I'd find the perfect man out there. Someone with whom I would fall passionately in love, who was my soulmate. My other half.”

“You might still find him.”

“I think I found him many times,” she says sadly. “Except I wasn't prepared to compromise. Do you remember Bob?” I nod. “I see him sometimes at the Bridge Club. Lovely man. He was a lovely, lovely man, but do you know what? I thought he wasn't good enough for me because he was a builder. He loved you, he treated me like a queen, and we had fun together, but I was young, and arrogant, and I threw away a chance of real happiness.”

“Is he married now?”

“Oh yes. He married Hilary Stewart.” I draw a blank. “Remember Josephine Stewart? You were at school with her? A few years after Rodney died, Bob and Hilary started courting. And I hear they're very happy.”

“Jesus.” It comes out in a whistle, because Josie Stewart was the richest girl in the class. They lived in a huge white detached house and she was driven to school in a dark green Rolls-Royce. Jesus.

“So Hilary didn't have quite the

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