Babyville Page 0,125

known. She should have listened to Bella, who said she'd only settle down when she met the knight in shining armor who would sweep her off her feet.

Look at Bella now, she thinks. She may be still single at thirty-four, but isn't she having a great life? She's at different bars and parties every night. Chatting up dark and dangerous men, men like Dan, and having wild sex in strange bedrooms. Even Julia's now doing much the same thing. Why had she settled for boring married life? When had she bought into the suburban horror of marriage and domesticity?

She would, if she could, change everything in her life. Except for George. George who only has to look at her to melt her heart. Giving George a huge smile, she picks him up for a cuddle, only to have him yowl in anger at being removed from his current favorite toy—the Hoover nozzle. She squeezes him for a few seconds before putting him back on the floor, where he gratefully falls on the hose.

And that, she knows, is why she hasn't done anything yet.

George.

That's why she hasn't been able to sit down with Chris and talk about wanting a separation, wanting to have some space.

As convinced as she is that she has married the wrong man, Sam cannot just walk away, not when Chris adores George as much as she, not when Chris gets him up in the morning on the weekends, and sings the “I Love You” song from Barney before taking him downstairs and giving him breakfast. Not when Chris's eyes light up when Sam regales him with something George has done during the day.

How could she take George away from Chris? And how would it affect George, to come from a divorced home? She doesn't want him to be ferried back and forth, doesn't want him to spend half his summer with her and half with Chris. She wants George to have the best possible upbringing she can give him, and that means being with Mummy and Daddy. Together.

That's why she can't say anything. Not yet. Even though she knows that a child is not a reason to stay together. That having parents who stay together in a household of bitterness and resentment is surely worse than living in two separate households that are filled with love and laughter.

George is not a reason to stay together, but she can't bring herself to do anything about it yet. Once upon a time she used to say, “This too shall pass” when she felt unhappy, or depressed, or without hope, but it's been eight months now and it hasn't passed yet. A part of her is still optimistic, a part of her still thinks that maybe it will all be okay, but of course that was before Dan reawakened those feelings in her.

If she's honest, those feelings had been stirred by Mr. Brennan, her obstetrician, but that was only a ridiculous crush, almost an obligatory crush if your obstetrician happens to be, well, male, really. She never fantasized about Mr. Brennan, not long, drawn-out, elaborate fantasies that were always firmly based in reality, and that therefore could possibly come true. Her fantasies about Mr. Brennan were nothing like her fantasies about Dan.

Sam is aware that had she not met Dan she could well have spent the rest of her life with Chris. After all, she couldn't have missed what she didn't know. She would have bumbled along quite happily, maybe even having more children, and would never know the meaning of true passion.

But now that she's met Dan, there's only one thing of which she's absolutely certain: It's just a matter of time.

“You're looking very nice for the cinema.” Chris's surprise was obvious when Sam walked down the stairs.

Patricia popped her head around the doorway from the kitchen where she was giving George his bottle, and raised her eyebrows with a smile. “Darling, is that makeup? How lovely to see you looking human again.” Sam snarled at her, then tottered down the hallway to get her bag.

“Mum, he should go down no later than seven. No later, okay? Don't keep him up to play with him or he'll get overtired and all hell will break loose.”

“Darling, I have done this before, you know. Don't worry. Just go and have a nice time.”

“Okay, but if he wakes up, he shouldn't wake up, he normally sleeps through doesn't he?” She looks at Chris for confirmation. “But if he does you can give