Axel (Ride Series #3) - O'Brien, Megan Page 0,3
son. My life.
“Hi, buddy,” I grinned, kneeling in front of him. He was such a beautiful boy, every day I was struck by it. His complexion favored mine, slightly fair, but his hair was darker than my chestnut brown and was just starting to curl up as it came in. But it was his eyes that really set him apart. I never grew tired of looking into them. I had never known I could love the way I loved him.
“He did great today,” Jill shared as she moved around the room picking up toys. “Want to stay for a late dinner?” she offered.
I shook my head, scooping my boy up. “I ate on the way and I’m exhausted. This weekend?”
“Sure,” she agreed.
“Thanks, as always, you’re a godsend,” I said sincerely. Jill’s husband traveled almost constantly for work and she frequently babysat Mad and a few other kids for extra income. She’d been a nurse before having Mason, but with Tim traveling so much, she stayed home full time. She was affordable, and more importantly, I trusted her.
When Maddox was born, I’d barely known how to take care of myself, let alone a baby. But Mad and I were making it work. It certainly wasn’t how I’d planned for my life to go, but I didn’t regret it, not for a second.
After saying goodbye, I let us in to our one-bedroom apartment, setting his diaper bag down on the small kitchen table.
I put him down with his toys on the blanket in the small living room and moved to the kitchen to get his milk ready before bed.
I chatted to him about my day, our one-sided dialogue, easily filling the quiet room with my voice and his babbling and giggles. I talked to my son more than anyone else. It was a minor miracle I could still successfully hold a two-way, adult conversation.
He looked up at me grinning when I brought his milk over, and as happened more than once a day, I felt a pang in my chest at how much he reminded me of Sal when he smiled.
I missed my brother.
I missed Axel most of all.
In all these months trying to forget, it was his face and his voice I heard every night before bed.
My heart was a glutton for punishment.
Those grey eyes were burned into my memory with a tenacity time and distance could not erase. Despite every effort to forget, I’d never felt for any man the way I’d felt for him. It was terrifying and consuming.
Maddox gurgled, reminding me I was spacing out again, holding his milk. “Sorry, sweetie,” I murmured, scooping his chubby body up in my arms and moving to the couch to feed him.
I watched him drink, my hand stroking over his soft hair as his eyes began to droop. My own eyes wanted to follow, but I forced them open long enough to finish up and put my sweet boy to bed.
He’d just started sleeping through the night. How I’d gotten through those first few months of him waking every few hours or better yet, nights he didn’t sleep at all, I still didn’t know.
I showered and dressed for bed, climbing in under my covers. Maddox slept in a small alcove in the living room that was meant to be an office space. I’d tried having him sleep in my room, but that didn’t seem to work for either one of us. It wasn’t like I had a social life that our living situation disrupted.
I was lonely, desperately so, and at times, terrified of the future. But I was also a hell of a lot stronger than I’d ever realized. I was proud of the woman I was, of the mother I’d been from the moment the nurses placed Maddox in my arms asking where his daddy was.
Chapter 2
“How about that guy from 3B?” Jill prodded as we sat on her couch, each with a glass of wine in hand. She was referring to our neighbor who’d asked me out repeatedly.
Both boys were crashed out in Mason’s room. This was the only way either of us got a ‘night out’ and we took advantage whenever possible.
I wrinkled my brow and shook my head. “No spark,” I sighed.
“You always say that.” She rolled her eyes heavenward. Jill was beautiful and exotic looking with her Native American ancestry. Her dark hair shone with a gorgeous gloss I often had to reach out and touch. She was seven years older than me, but I’d never