Awaken to Pleasure - By Nalini Singh Page 0,62

her own, so used to being able to control what hurt them.

Memories of her fussing over Nick merged into images of her bristling on his own behalf, taking on those who would dare to hurt him. He couldn't bear her pain. She cried for a long time and each tear felt like acid on his heart.

"Have you called a doctor?" heasked, when her sobs had faded off into silent weeping.

"What for? I'm fine." She was belligerent.

His eye flicked to the bed and suddenly he understood why it had disturbed him. The blue sheets shouldn't have been that almost purplish shade. His heart froze. How much blood had she lost? Shaking, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed an ambulance one-handed.Taylordidn't say anything, and when the paramedics came, she went quietly. He held her hand throughout the ride.

At the E.R., he paced like a caged tiger until they pronounced that she'd be fine, though they wanted to keep her overnight for observation. He sat with her as she was hooked up to an IV drip and afterward when she started crying again, he ignored hospital policy and gathered her into his arms, being careful not to dislodge the IV needle. Sitting in a chair beside her bed, he cradled her slender body, so unexpectedly fragile, against his strength. Except tonight, he didn't feel very strong. He could never erase her hurt.

"I don't know how to stop your pain, cara mia ," he admitted. "Tell me what to do." He was used to doing things, not being a useless observer on the sidelines.

Lifting her head, she framed his face with her gentle hands. "My pain? What about yours, darling?"

He gave her a tight smile. "I didn't go through what you did. I will be fine."

She shook her head, her lips set stubbornly. "Don't shut me out,Jackson. Please don't." The vulnerability beneath the stubbornness was clear. "I need you here with me. More than I've ever needed you before."

He looked at her earnest, tear-streaked face and felt something inside him shatter. "I always thought our bambina would have her mother's eyes."

"And her papa's heart."Taylorstroked his tears away, and it was only then that he knew he was crying.

For the first time since he'd been a mere babe, JacksonSantorini allowed himself to cry, held in his wife's arms. Her honest pain deserved nothing less. The honor of their bambina required it.

The next day,Jacksontook his wife home. While they'd been away, he'd had the bed replaced, knowing that neither of them would ever want to lie on it again. When they arrived, he madeTaylorsomething to drink and then they sat basking in the sunshine, on the steps leading down from the back verandah. She sat on the step below him, watching the butterflies as steam floated up from her tea. He put his arms gently around her and held her to him.

"The nurse said that if we let ourselves mourn, we'd heal better." Her voice was tentative.

"What do you want to do, cara?" He rubbed his face against her soft hair, reminding her that he was at her disposal. He needed to do something for her. Anything.

"I thought we could name her - we don't know if the baby would've been a girl or a boy but we always thought of her..."

"...as our bambina ," he completed.

"Yes. Maybe ... maybe we could plant something beautiful for her in our garden. It might help Nick, too, when he finds out."

He swallowed the sorrow that choked his throat. Nick was so much like his sensitive sister.Jackson knew that they would have to be very careful with his young heart. "That sounds like a fine idea. What shall we name her?"

"What do you think?" Putting her cup on the step, she tilted her head against his chest and met his gaze.

"Rosa." He quietly admitted to his own dreams.

She nodded. "That's a good name. RosaSantorini ." For the first time since their baby's loss, she smiled a little, hisTaylorcoming back to him. "I'm glad we're doing this. I don't want to pretend she didn't exist."

Despite the smile, there was such deep pain and sadness in her that he wanted to break something in despair.

"We could try again," he suggested, hesitant to do so, but it was all he could think of to alleviate her hurt.

"I'd like that." She smiled slowly. "From what the doctor said, it happens to first babies sometimes ...

there's no reason for us not to try again."

He was glad that