Awaken to Pleasure - By Nalini Singh Page 0,3

had no idea what to do to feed those wild, hot feelings. With her history, she could never, ever allow herself to love a man, but the minute she'd met JacksonSantorini , she'd learned that she couldn't stop herself from lusting after this particular male.

A deep chuckle heated both her cheeks and her temper. "Next to me, you're a baby."

"Crap." She was so furious that she could barely get the single word out.

"Crap?" He was laughing at her again, in that superior masculine way of his that made herwant to scream.

"Age makes no difference to the person you become once you're an adult." She needed him to accept her as a woman, though she shied away from the implications of that need.

"Of course it does." His response was infuriatingly calm. "More experience, more life lived."

"More years doesn't necessarily mean more experience!"

His sardonic look dared her to prove it.

She did, goaded beyond endurance. "I'm bringing up a child. Can you say the same?"

"No." His response was so cold that the inside of the car suddenly felt like a freezer.

It was clear that she'd offended him deeply with her careless words. Not for the first time, she wondered if his childless marriage had been his choice. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I shouldn't have said that."

"It's true." An emotionless response.

She bit her lip, debating whether to continue. "Yes. But so soon afterBonnie's death ... I shouldn't have said it. I wasn't thinking."

It was her own emotional anguish over the possibility of losing custody of Nick to her stepfather,Lance, that had made her so reckless. Even tonight's desperate attempt to forget her fears for a few hours had ended in a nightmare. Except for being picked up byJackson, her day had been sheer hell. And now, she'd made him angry. Somehow, that was the worst feeling of all.

"It's been twelve months since Bonnie overdosed."Jacksonknew his voice was hard, but so had been surviving the losses a year ago. "You know our marriage was finished long before then. Hell, the whole world knew."

They'd been married, but not to each other. He'd had his work and for a brief glittering moment of pure happiness,Taylor's smile. Bonnie had had drugs. They hadn't even slept together for over two years, except for that one fateful time four months before her death.

She'd been so lovely that day, a shimmering memory of the girl he'd wed, before news of her father's death had stolen her joy. He'd long since learned that that girl had been a mirage, but when she'd turned to him for comfort, he hadn't been able to deny her. Not when grief had ripped apart the mask of sophistication that had become her face.

And they'd created a child.

Whom Bonnie had murdered when she'd taken her life with a cocktail of drugs. If she hadn't, he might have been a parent, too, able to refuteTaylor's claim. He could still feel the knives that had sliced through his soul when the autopsy had revealed her to be pregnant. Further tests had proven that the child had been his flesh and blood.

But, even that incredible grief hadn't compared to his rage at discovering that Bonnie had known of the tiny life growing inside of her. She'd known that his child was in her womb when she'd taken her final lover, and she'd known that his child was in her womb when she'd ingested the fatal drug cocktail.

At that moment of understanding, hate had spread through his body like a virus, decimating his ability to feel tender emotions.
Chapter 2
" She could be nice sometimes,"Taylorsaid, betraying the soft heart behind that tough exterior.

"When she wasn't drugged to the gills." He knew too much about the kind of pain "nice" Bonnie could inflict.

"I wonder why she did all those things."

He knew she was talking about the drugs and that final affair, unearthed by the press and gleefully announced to the world. What would she say if he told her thatBonnie's famous lover had been the last in a string of men?

He'd stopped touching Bonnie as soon as he'd discovered the infidelities. His love for her had died long before. After a lonely, barren childhood, her joyful charm had drawn him, only to teach him an even deeper sense of isolation. They hadn't shared a bed again, except for that day four months before her death. After hours spent at work inTaylor's company, aching for things he had no right to demand, his defenses had been at an all-time low. Seeing Bonnie smile