Avery (The Phoenix Club Girl Diaries #3) - Addison Jane Page 0,71

You’re right. I will take this kiddo out for a spin, let everyone get some silence for a while. Even if I have to drive around the block for an hour or park with the motor running… if I can get him to have even an hour’s sleep, he should be much happier on the other side.”

Meyah walked with me out to the car, her small child having behaved herself and gone down for a sleep in Shotgun’s office without even a peep so Shake could have the apartment quiet across the road.

“I’ll move the SUV out of the first garage bay so you can pull in and park in there if he falls asleep,” Meyah said as she watched me buckle him in, his little body kicking and screaming. “Then at least you won’t die of heatstroke or something parked out in the sun.”

“Thanks,” I answered with a heavy sigh, shutting the rear door and instantly being eaten up by guilt at his cries.

It swallowed me whole.

It made my heart hurt.

Because I knew I’d fallen in love with this little person, so capable of breaking me even without him knowing it.

You’re in too deep.

With Shotgun.

With Gage.

With the club.

You’ll never survive when they leave you.

But maybe I didn’t care.

Maybe the love I felt for them was so much stronger than the fear I felt of losing them. Even though Micah left me, I never regretted loving her. I never regretted all the things we did together, or the bond we formed. I never regretted the way she made me feel, how she saved me, how she fought for me and how close we were.

It was those memories that made losing her survivable. It was the love she gave me which made it so I could keep breathing without her. Because through that love, she was never really gone. And whether Shotgun and Gage at some point walked away too, I had this. My moments with them, my memories, and I would never regret my time spent here.

Even with the screaming.

“Ave?”

I shook my head and forced a smile. “Sorry, when I hear him cry, I just want to comfort him.”

She nodded. She got it. “If he doesn’t fall asleep after a couple of laps just come back. We will think of something else.”

“Thanks,” I answered with a sigh and climbed into the driver’s seat.

The engine started with a loud shudder, my car getting older now, and I either needed to get Crush to completely overhaul or sell it and try to purchase something a little newer.

Something more reliable.

It took me a second to realize that starting the car had halted the screaming, and I gripped the wheel in my hand, sinking back into my seat with relief and hope that this could be the savior to our problem.

Meyah waved as I pulled out of the compound and onto the road. A bump here and a bump there and still no peep from the back seat. Humming happily, I cruised around a few blocks, staying close to the clubhouse, but making sure my right turns were long enough that I didn’t have to stop often, scared it would be my downfall.

After about ten minutes of just roaming the streets, I stopped at a set of red lights and risked a glance into the little mirror that hung on the back seat. Gage faced backward, so the reflection let me see him—snoozing. Dead to the world. His lip quivering as he took each breath, still calming from his epic breakdown.

When the light went green, I turned, figuring I’d head back to the clubhouse, and if he was still asleep after twenty minutes in the car, I’d try to pull into the garage and hope for the best.

The streets were quieter the closer we crept to home, the clubhouse in a nice part of town, but sparsely populated with older buildings and businesses rather than homes. The clubhouse itself was an old mechanic shop, the clubhouse having been added on. There were apartments across the street and at the end of the dead-end, but our neighbors on surrounding streets were mostly businesses, small factories, workshops, and places where goods were made in-store.

Thump.

The car jerked forward, my face hitting the wheel and splitting my lip open on impact. The pain was intense, my eyes instantly watering and my foot pressing on the brake so I could pull over.

What the hell was that?

Did I hit something?

Thump.

This time it was harder, the safety belt doing its job