Avenging Us - Gina Whitney Page 0,78
them along with her once and for all.
“Talk to me,” he said, making soothing circles on my back.
I pulled back, wiping my tears with the backs of my hands and giving him a weak smile. I grabbed his hands to bring them to my mouth, peppering them with kisses to let him know how much I appreciated him being here for me. And I would always be there for him. “You’re all I have now. You and Bella. You’re my only family.”
His eyes remained glued on me, love and adoration visible in the light that shown through them. “Yes, but you also have Cindy, Chance, my parents, and the boys. Aren’t they family? I know they consider you family.”
“Yes, they definitely are,” I whispered, and saw relief pass over his face as he exhaled. As chaotic and complicated our life could be, he and Bella were my bottom line, my life, and my everything.
“I was going to wait, as my heart broke for you. Make no mistake…never cry for that fucking bitch.” His voice was even but sure. “I thought there was no better place to share this news with you than in the safety of our bedroom. A place of safety, security, and love. Safe under my hand, safe while in scene, and safely with our daughter sleeping nearby. Surrounded by everything you love. Let me be your shield, your stronghold, your safe harbor…”
What he said touched the deepest part of me, unlocking the final door of self-doubt and insecurity. My past may have been battered by my mother, but the future held something entirely different for me. I was given a second chance. A chance to have my own family to love and nurture. This nurturing I learned from the rock star who held me, and not my mother. It was through his lifestyle that I’d been reborn. I reflected on the many positive aspects of my relationship with him, and he’s enriched my life in so many ways. He’s taught me how to trust, to let go of insecurities, and to live in the moment. He has taught me to accept the submissive side of myself that I long fought, and that a Dom shouldn’t be manipulative. My self-esteem was only lowered by my own demons, but never because of him or his hand. My surrender showed me how to relate to situations outside of my relationship with him. I needed to let things go and unshackle myself from my demons—from Medusa.
“You were right to tell me.” This was what Chance told him earlier, and why he threatened him. “We’re getting married soon, and I want to be focused on that day. If I give into my past, she’ll have won.” I paused. It all made sense now—the dreams. Even from beyond the grave, she continued to eat away at any happiness I held. “I mourn the loss of innocence. The loneliness of growing up without a father’s love or the gentle touch of a mother’s hand.” I needed to purge this once and for all. The anger I felt my whole life that had taken a life of its own—a living, breathing being—and a monster that held control over me for so many years. Too many years. At this moment, the monster fighting to surface no longer seemed unbidden and uncontrollable. The child in me sobbed. The man I loved held me close until my tears stopped coming.
He turned down the comforter, folding into me with a kiss. “Sleep, my beauty.”
“Wait,” I said, grabbing his hand. “I don’t want anything to do with her burial. Nothing. I don’t want to hear or know. Please. Can you do that for me?” Tears were long gone, but resolve set in bone deep. This was me purging the filth from my life. I’d show her the same kindness she’d shown me all these years. Loneliness and abandonment. “You’ll be burying the last of my fears.”
He nodded. “Sleep. I will take care of everything,” he said before making some calls. I let out a long, cleansing breath, and burrowed deeper into my pillowed cocoon, surrendering to exhaustion. And finally, sleep pulled me under.
After a lengthy conversation with my father and a few phone calls, things seemed to be falling into place. My father and Cindy were going to take care of all arrangements for Medusa. If it were up to me, I’d leave her in the morgue unclaimed. She didn’t deserve anything more. However, my father had a good point.