Autumn's Wild Heart (Seasons #4) - Laura Landon Page 0,38

you tell me?”

“I wasn’t ready to lose you yet.”

There weren’t words that could have hurt him more than the words she’d just uttered. Perhaps in the beginning he thought he would leave her and go to London when he was assured she was having a child, but that was true no longer. Just as it wasn’t true that he needed a drink or two for courage before he could make love to her. Most nights he couldn’t wait to pull her into his arms. To have her beneath him while he made love to her. To hold her and feel her hands caress him.

“Oh, Nella. I’m so sorry. I never meant for you to doubt that I cared for you.”

“How could you care for me?” she asked quietly. “I forced you to marry me. How could you want me?” She walked away from him. “Now please, go away and leave me be.”

James looked at his wife. It pained him greatly to know how he’d hurt her. How unloved he’d made her feel even though he hadn’t intended to. How unwanted he’d let her feel even though he wanted her more desperately than he’d ever be able to prove to her.

“Please come home with me, Nella. We have much to discuss yet.”

She shook her head.

“Please,” he said. He grasped her by the arms and locked his gaze with hers. “Please,” he said, then lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers.

He couldn’t fathom why this was the first time he’d kissed her. How could he have been so unfeeling? So unkind?

He kissed her once, softly, gently. Then, kissed her again.

There was so much he wanted to teach her. So much he was desperate to show her.

He wrapped his arms around her and gathered her close to him. When he had her in his grasp, he deepened his kiss. Not enough to frighten her, but enough to show her the depth of his feeling for her.

At first he feared she would not respond to his kisses, but on a soft moan she tilted her head and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“James,” she whispered and he kissed her again.

Her voice rasped, and her breathing became heavy.

“Yes, Nella. Kiss me. Let me show you how much I love you.”

She stiffened in his arms.

“Yes, Nella. I love you. I love you. I love everything about you. You are one of the most tender, most talented, most caring persons I’ve ever met. I don’t care if you can’t dance. I’ll teach you. I promise. Then there will be nothing you can’t do.”

He brought his mouth down on hers again and kissed her once more. “I love you,” he said when he lifted his mouth from hers. “Please, don’t ever doubt that I do. I couldn’t live without you.”

She answered his kiss with a kiss filled with passion. He’d never doubted that she cared for him. If she hadn’t cared for him, she wouldn’t have saved him from Blanche’s deception.

“Come now,” he said. “Let me take you home.”

“What about Blanche?”

“I can do nothing about Blanche. If she’s carrying a child, that child is not mine. It’s someone else’s.”

“Truly?”

“Of course, truly. I’ve never lain with her.”

“Then why did she tell me she was carrying your child?”

“To hurt you. Because she’s a spoiled, manipulative female who is used to getting what she wants and you ruined her plans.”

“But—”

“But nothing, Nella. Marrying you was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Why did you agree to marry me, James? I offered you a way out.”

James smiled. “Yes, you did. But we have my aunt to thank for my decision.”

“Your aunt?”

“Yes. She knew before I did that you would be a perfect match for me and persuaded me to take you as my wife. I will always be indebted to her. I’ve found a love with you I don’t deserve. I’ve discovered a life I never thought I’d have.”

A small sob spilled from Nella’s lips.

“What?” he asked. “What has you so worried?”

Nella drew a long breath. “The child, my love. Blanche’s child. It doesn’t deserve—”

He placed a finger across her lips to hush her words. “We’ll be there to get the child when the time comes, Nella. I promise. If we don’t discover who the father is, we’ll place the babe in a good home, with people who will love it. I promise.”

As soon as she registered what he was saying, she threw her arms around him and hugged fiercely.

“Oh James. Oh James! You are the dearest man!”

James laughed