Autumn's Wild Heart (Seasons #4) - Laura Landon Page 0,12

he landed himself in this mess? How was he to survive the rest of his life?

James thought of the multitude of beautiful women who’d thrown themselves at his feet. Why couldn’t it have been one of those who’d drugged him? Why couldn’t he have compromised one of them?

He thought of how his life would change now that he’d married the woman he had. His wife had made it plain that she would not be going to London in their lifetime. She would not be a part of the nobility that attended the most fashionable balls and social events, but he was allowed to go without her.

Bloody hell, was he really going to be that person?

How long would it be before his friends and acquaintances would wonder why his wife was never with him? They would, of course believe he was ashamed of her appearance and did not want to be seen with her.

Was that true? Would that be the reason he wouldn’t insist she came to Town with him? Could he be that vain and shallow?

On the other hand, had she insisted upon remaining in the country to give him an excuse? To let him believe it was her choice that he conduct his London business without her so he didn’t have to blame himself for abandoning her?

He leaned forward and took a long swallow of his brandy. He wasn’t proud of himself, but he couldn’t deny that a part of him was glad she insisted that she remain in the country when he went to Town. He wasn’t used to having any female other than one of the most beautiful women on his arm. It deflected attention from himself, and he actually liked that.

He finished his glass of brandy and refilled it, then walked to the window and stared out into the waning sunlight. Little by little the brightness faded and the darkness wrapped around him like the fleece of a warm blanket.

Tonight was his wedding night. And he was terrified. As terrified as he was sure his wife was. How on earth would he ever survive it?

He refilled his brandy, then sank into a wing chair and drank it. Then drank another. And another. And….

Finally, he climbed the stairs and knocked on his wife’s door.

~■~

Nella heard the knock on the door and pulled the covers up beneath her chin. This was her wedding night and she knew that her husband would come to her. She only thought it would have been long before now. It had to be well past midnight.

“May I come in?” he asked from the doorway.

“Of course, my lord.”

Nella had never been so nervous in her life. She’d never been more frightened than she was now. She held her breath, seeking to sink beneath the bedclothes.

“I brought wine. I thought you might like a glass before we…uh…go to bed.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

Nella sat up in the bed and watched the man of her dreams pour her a glass of wine.

He handed it to her, then sat in the chair beside her bed and stretched his long muscular legs out in front of him.

She took a swallow, trying desperately not to clutch the wineglass so hard that it might snap.

“I don’t mean to embarrass you, my lady, but I must ask you one question before we lie together.”

“Yes?”

“You’ll excuse me, but I must ask if you are aware of what goes on between a husband and wife.”

Nella felt her cheeks blaze. She thought she might die of embarrassment.

He spoke to cover her unease.

“My aunt, the dowager Countess of Newbury, suggested I ask you. She said because your mother died several years ago, it was possible your father was uncomfortable bringing up the subject of our wedding night.”

Nella took a large swallow of her wine then choked on it.

“Did your father speak to you?” he repeated when she’d recovered.

“Yes. We had a brief talk,” she whispered.

“May I ask what he said?”

Nella’s cheeks burned even hotter. “He said that you…have had much experience in…what goes on between a man and a woman, so I should just…um… do what you…tell me to do.”

“Bloody hell,” he whispered, then took several swallows from his tumbler.

“Was that not what you wished him to say?”

The clearly annoyed earl rose to his feet, staggered, then took several unsteady steps until he reached the curtained window.

“Was there more he should have told me?”

“A great deal more.”

“I see.”

Nella thought she might die of embarrassment. “Could we just do this without you explaining what it is you expect