what he meant, he lifted me from my chair and swung me into his lap, straddling him. When I stayed quiet, he froze and peered down at me. “Is this okay?” he asked quietly.
I found my voice. “Yes. Wait, no. You’re injured.”
“No because I’m injured or no because you’re uncomfortable?” Ian clarified.
I was entirely comfortable. In fact, if I could slide forward a few centimeters, I’d be even more comfortable, because his hard length would press almost exactly where I wanted it. But even after our kisses and his obvious desire, he was confirming that I was still with him and that he wasn’t taking more than I freely offered. My heart sighed and I knew I was a goner.
As if I wasn’t already.
“The former,” I whispered. “Don’t hurt yourself.” I met his gaze straight on and gave him a truth. “You scared me. I thought you were going to die.”
He didn’t shy away from my honesty. “I’m sorry I scared you. Dying wasn’t my plan, but I knew it was a possibility. It was an acceptable risk to give you a chance.”
I lightly smacked his shoulder. “It wasn’t an acceptable risk! Promise me you won’t do something so stupid again.”
His jaw firmed, and his eyes lit with determination. “I won’t lie to you, love. I would make the same choice a hundred times if it kept you safe.” He sighed. “When I said I’m hard to kill, I meant it. As you’ve already guessed, I’m a member of the missing Genesis Project squad. We were engineered to be ruthless, indestructible bastards. It takes a lot to put us down permanently.”
I smiled sadly. “No wonder you hated me when you arrived. I represented everything terrible that had happened to you.”
Ian grimaced. “I was an asshole. I was overwhelmingly attracted to you and didn’t want to be, so I pushed you away with sharp words and biting comments. I apologize. By the time I grew up enough to realize how stupid I was, you were married to that weasel. Then you came home but wanted nothing to do with me, which frustrated me into repeating the cycle.” He shook his head. “Not my proudest moments.”
I ran my fingers through the stubble on his jaw. “Would you like to know a secret?”
He nodded warily.
“I always wanted you, but you made me so tongue-tied that I started intentionally making you angry enough to end our conversations early so I wouldn’t look like an idiot. We’re both assholes. I’m sorry.”
He kissed my palm. “We’re perfect for each other,” he said.
Incandescent joy brought a smile to my face. It dimmed as I realized I had yet another secret to share. “Gregory was a brilliant man,” I began.
“Bianca—” Ian started, but I pressed my fingers to his lips.
“I need to tell you,” I said softly. “Gregory was obsessed with his research. It was one of the reasons Father pushed for our marriage—he wanted Gregory’s discoveries to be House von Hasenberg discoveries.”
I sighed and gave him the rest of the truth. “The other reason was that Gregory had gotten me pregnant. I didn’t realize until later how carefully he’d planned everything, including our hasty wedding. I lost the baby two months later.” My voice was flat, but I felt that wound still.
Ian wrapped his arms around me, offering silent support.
“The first year of our marriage, Gregory did everything possible to break me down and distance me from my support network, starting even before I lost our baby. All of my training and all of my intelligence and I couldn’t see my own husband was manipulating me. I kept trying to fix it, but it wasn’t something I could fix.”
Even now, I wondered if I could’ve done something differently, and how fucked up was that? I knew he had manipulated me and still I wondered. I shook myself.
“The Consortium’s regulatory agencies didn’t move fast enough for Gregory. Human experiments require years of work before they’re approved, so he decided to experiment on his own property, namely me. He wanted a piece of tech so irresistible that he could write his own rules.”
“He experimented on you without your consent, didn’t he?” Ian asked, his voice dark and dangerous.
I laughed without humor, the bitter sound dragged out of me by the thought of Gregory asking me for anything so trivial to him as consent. “He did not ask me,” I confirmed. “He drugged me and inserted the implant in my brain. Afterward, he told me I had passed out and