back when things aren’t so dire,” he said. “Ada misses you.”
Shame slid through my system. I hadn’t visited because I wasn’t sure I could visit without exposing how sick I became when the signals overloaded my brain. But my sister had been banished and I hadn’t bothered to check on her in her new home. That was not the kind of person I wanted to be.
“Thank you, I will,” I promised. Then I tacked on, “Assuming Father lets me out of the House after this.”
Ian directed the transport to a different location from where we’d left Fortuitous. The brightly lit city sparkled like a jewel under the dark sky. I was still on Universal Time, and I had trouble when the light didn’t match my body clock. It was morning Universal, but it certainly didn’t feel like it.
The wireless signals pressed against my skull. Tired and hurting, I took a deep breath and mentally pressed back.
For an instant, the pain lessened, until surprise broke my concentration.
It took me five minutes to replicate the result by focusing completely on building a mental shield. Even then, I could hold it for only a few seconds at a time. I didn’t know if it was because I’d been able to better deal with the continuous exposure thanks to Ian’s advice or if it was a benefit of the meditation training I’d been doing, but whatever it was, it was progress.
I might have a chance at normalcy.
The transport landed on one of the many small spaceports that adorned the tops of the various towers. This one had room for two ships, but only one landing pad was occupied.
The ship was smaller than Aurora, possibly only two levels, and painted matte black. It was a House Yamado design, a ship that could go either military or civilian, depending on the build-out.
“Is this a House von Hasenberg ship?” I asked Ian. I realized they were the first words we’d spoken since entering the transport.
“No,” he said. “Phantom is my personal ship.” He slanted a wry glance at me. “I’ll thank you in advance for not locking me out of it.”
My smile was sweet. “I won’t have to if you don’t give me a reason to.”
He shook his head in exasperation, but a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. “I contacted Alex and Aoife while we were at Rhys’s. I briefed them and they agreed to join us again, but quarters are going to be tight. This ship was designed for a single person to be able to manage.”
“I don’t mind sleeping on the floor for a few days,” I said. It wasn’t my first choice, but I’d survived worse.
“You and Aoife can bunk together,” he said.
I’d rather bunk with you. I bit my lip to keep the words from slipping free. One kiss did not make a relationship, and giving him a chance didn’t mean hopping into bed with him at the first opportunity.
Before we boarded the ship, I scanned us both for trackers. We were clean. Ada had trusted me. Pain clutched at my heart and it felt heavy in my chest. I was going to break her trust, and even if she understood, we would both be changed for it.
I followed Ian into the ship’s tiny cargo hold. Our supplies from Fortuitous took up more than half of the available floor space, leaving a narrow path through the hold.
At Ian’s direction, I dropped my bag, suitcase, and cloak at the bottom of a short staircase. We climbed to the upper level, which had the captain’s quarters, a mess hall, and the flight deck.
Much like Aurora, the captain’s chair could control the entire ship, but Ian had also left the navigation and tactical stations. Aoife and Alex sat behind the two auxiliary consoles, hard-faced and intent. Aoife smiled briefly at me, but it didn’t touch her eyes, and she didn’t say anything. Ian said he had briefed them and she looked like she was readying to go to war.
It hit me then, the enormity of what I was doing. I was likely leading these two to their deaths, and Ian besides. I spun on my heel and marched back the way we’d come. I had to get out, to get away. Ian didn’t know where Ferdinand was and he wouldn’t go in blind. I could slip in, free my brother, and slip back out again. And if I was caught, at least I’d only be sending myself into death.