Atomic Habits - James Clear Page 0,80
it. It wasn’t until a few days later that I realized how absurd it was that I wasn’t celebrating something that would have seemed like a pipe dream just a few years before.
The pain of failure correlates to the height of expectation. When desire is high, it hurts to not like the outcome. Failing to attain something you want hurts more than failing to attain something you didn’t think much about in the first place. This is why people say, “I don’t want to get my hopes up.”
Feelings come both before and after the behavior. Before acting, there is a feeling that motivates you to act—the craving. After acting, there is a feeling that teaches you to repeat the action in the future—the reward.
Cue > Craving (Feeling) > Response > Reward (Feeling)
How we feel influences how we act, and how we act influences how we feel.
Desire initiates. Pleasure sustains. Wanting and liking are the two drivers of behavior. If it’s not desirable, you have no reason to do it. Desire and craving are what initiate a behavior. But if it’s not enjoyable, you have no reason to repeat it. Pleasure and satisfaction are what sustain a behavior. Feeling motivated gets you to act. Feeling successful gets you to repeat.
Hope declines with experience and is replaced by acceptance. The first time an opportunity arises, there is hope of what could be. Your expectation (cravings) is based solely on promise. The second time around, your expectation is grounded in reality. You begin to understand how the process works and your hope is gradually traded for a more accurate prediction and acceptance of the likely outcome.
This is one reason why we continually grasp for the latest get-rich-quick or weight-loss scheme. New plans offer hope because we don’t have any experiences to ground our expectations. New strategies seem more appealing than old ones because they can have unbounded hope. As Aristotle noted, “Youth is easily deceived because it is quick to hope.” Perhaps this can be revised to “Youth is easily deceived because it only hopes.” There is no experience to root the expectation in. In the beginning, hope is all you have.
How to Apply These Ideas to Business
OVER THE YEARS, I’ve spoken at Fortune 500 companies and growing start-ups about how to apply the science of small habits to run more effective businesses and build better products. I’ve compiled many of the most practical strategies into a short bonus chapter. I think you’ll find it to be an incredibly useful addition to the main ideas mentioned in Atomic Habits.
You can download this chapter at: atomichabits.com/business
How to Apply These Ideas to Parenting
ONE OF THE most common questions I hear from readers is something along the lines of, “How can I get my kids to do this stuff?” The ideas in Atomic Habits are intended to apply broadly to all of human behavior (teenagers are humans, too), which means you should find plenty of useful strategies in the main text. That said, parenting does face its own set of challenges. As a bonus chapter, I’ve put together a brief guide on how to apply these ideas specifically to parenting.
You can download this chapter at: atomichabits.com/parenting
Acknowledgments
I HAVE RELIED HEAVILY on others during the creation of this book. Before anyone else, I must thank my wife, Kristy, who has been indispensable throughout this process. She has played every role a person can play in the writing of a book: spouse, friend, fan, critic, editor, researcher, therapist. It is no exaggeration to say this book would not be the same without her. It might not exist at all. Like everything in our life, we did it together.
Second, I am grateful to my family, not only for their support and encouragement on this book but also for believing in me no matter what project I happen to be working on. I have benefited from many years of support from my parents, grandparents, and siblings. In particular, I want my mom and dad to know that I love them. It is a special feeling to know that your parents are your greatest fans.
Third, to my assistant, Lyndsey Nuckols. At this point, her job defies description as she has been asked to do nearly everything one could imagine for a small business. Thankfully, her skills and talents are more powerful than my questionable management style. Some sections of this book are as much hers as they are mine. I am deeply grateful for her help.
As for the content and writing of