to his stare nailed to me. Or did he come here to violate me in the most delicious way imaginable? My previous questions are suddenly forgotten when my final question sits heavily at the front of my mind, demanding an answer.
‘Why did you get in the car with him?’ he asks curtly. ‘To piss me off? Because it worked.’
My fumbling hands falter slightly but soon fly into action again, locating my key and putting it into the lock. I’m not answering him, not only because I don’t owe him an explanation or have nothing to say – I have plenty to say, like asking why the fuck he destroyed my phone and paraded that woman in front of me – but also because I need to remove myself from this situation. My time is worth more than this ridiculous game. I am worth more.
‘Eleanor, answer me.’ Becker’s voice has taken on an edge of impatience and sternness, which stirs unsettling feelings within. The key turns, and I stumble into the lobby of my building. ‘Answer my fucking question, woman,’ he growls as I push the door closed, getting a glimpse of his face. There’s aggravation written all over it. Woman? Oh, he’s going the right way about tipping me over the edge. He always does, whether it’s the edge of lust or insanity. I’m struggling to fathom which is most rampant within me now. What I do know, though, is that neither is safe.
The space between the door and frame shrinks and his face vanishes, but just when I begin to feel safe and relieved to be away from him, a weight presses against the other side of the door. Instinct has me pushing too, fighting the force coming from the other side. He doesn’t speak. I don’t speak. There are no sounds, not even heavy breathing, as we wrestle against each other to win – me to keep him out, Becker to get in. But while my efforts are great, I realise his aren’t, and it’s only a few moments before I comprehend something: he’s holding back. There’s no way my strength could equal his. He could push this door open with a flick of his finger, so why the bloody hell isn’t he? Is it because he fears what might happen if he does?
‘Fuck off, Becker,’ I yell, panting as we continue with our ridiculous wrestling match.
‘No.’ His answer is short and sharp as he continues to fight me, but there’s still no exertion from his side.
He’s not trying to get in.
What’s his game?
I don’t know, but I continue to push against him, now using my shoulder instead of my palms. ‘Let me close the door.’
‘No.’
‘What game are you playing, Becker?’ I shout. ‘We both know you could get in.’
‘I don’t want to.’ He’s hissing the words past clenched teeth, and I frown.
‘Then what the hell are you doing fighting with me?’
He shoves hard, forcing me to throw some more effort into keeping him out. ‘I don’t want to force my way in,’ he says in a snarl. ‘I want you to surrender.’
‘Not a chance.’ I snort, disgusted. Hell will freeze over before I let him past this door. Surrender? Never. Not this time. The torrent of emotions I’ve undergone since I caved into my want has been unbearable. I’m not fuelling it.
Another jar of the wood has my heels digging in further. Literally.
‘Please, Eleanor.’
I pull up but hold position, the begging in his tone settling deep. It’s a total turnabout from the hissing and spitting of a moment ago. ‘What?’
‘Surrender.’
‘Why?’ The one-word question is simple and falls past my lips without thought. I want to know, however dangerous the answer might be.
The door is thrust again in temper. ‘Because I fucking want you,’ he shouts. ‘And the moment you release this door, I’m having you, Eleanor. Every fucking bit of you. I’m not forcing my way in. You’ll let me in, because you want me just as badly.’
I gulp, my muscles seizing and holding the door. I’m not forcing my way in. Fuck . . .
‘Let me in,’ he breathes.
Let me in. My body comes to life, my blood singing in my veins. He wants me to let him in. Clarity has me releasing the door and stepping back, inviting him in, letting him in, but he doesn’t fall over the threshold like I expect. The door remains closed, me standing on one side, Becker on the other. My breathing is all over the place now, my