The Art of Being Emily - Katie MacAlister Page 0,76
but there's Holly and Fang and Devon and Peg and Lalla to give me sanity. Bess promised to take Holly and me to see Stomp and the Hard Rock Café in London, and Mom said she's going to take me to a hair doctor to see if there's anything that can stop me from going bald. Plus, Holly's mom knows a real psychic, so I'm going to have her hold a séance in my room to contact the spirit of my underwear drawer. That should be mondo cool, and I'm really looking forward to getting my drawer back. I'll let you know how that turns out.
Brother even said this morning that I might be able to go to Paris for a couple of weeks next spring in order to improve my French, so all in all, I guess it won't be too horrible to stay here.
I mean, it's not like anything worse can happen to me, right?
Hugs and kisses,
~Em
They Wear What Under Their Kilts?
AUTHOR’S NOTE
They Wear WHAT Under Their Kilts was my second young adult book, following immediately on the heels of The Year My Life Went Down the Loo. Three other books follow Kilts, all originally written under the name of Katie Maxwell. Recently, I revisited the books to update them a bit, and am now making them available under the Katie MacAlister name. I hope you enjoy Emily as much as I do!
Yes, yes, we're here in Scotland (note the while I'm in Scotland e-mail addy, please—I was getting way too much Viagra spam on the other address), and already things are looking up, despite the fact that Brother still will not let me get a cell phone for the remaining few months we’re here in Britain, or let me use social media like Snapchat and Instagram. Honestly, it’s like the man is living the dark ages. Just because he found a couple of compromising pictures on my tablet that I was sending to a guy who said he wanted a red-headed model, doesn’t mean I was going to fall victim to some old weirdo using the Interwebs to lure in susceptible women, who he would later chop into little bits. I mean, we’re smarter than that, right? Right.
Where was I? Oh, the looking up part. First off, there's Alec (I refuse to call him “Uncle Alec” because I'm almost seventeen, not a child). Is it illegal for a man to marry his wife's niece? If it's not, hoo baby, watch out, Emily's in town! I don't care if he is almost as ancient as my father, he's just so scrummy! He's got this really sexy thick accent, the kind that rolls all over you and makes you feel all warm and squidgy inside. Yeah, sure, it's a bit hard to understand him unless you're really concentrating, but no man is perfect, right? Anyhoo, I'd be all Emily the Seductress with him despite his Great Age but Aunt Tim gave me one of those squinty-eyed glares that screamed “Hands off, younger and much more attractive female! This man is mine!”
I think she's just jealous of my stunning use of cosmetics.
So there we were, the Fam (minus Bess, she's off with her BF Monk—I still don't see why she gets to go off on her own just because she's nineteen) and Holly and me—oh, I meant to tell you, Holly finally got the OK to do her work experience here too, which is utterly coolio, because although Alec is a really hottalicious Older Man, and Aunt Tim is pretty cool for an aunt despite the squinty-eyed glares, they're both elderly with a capital EL. Holly is fun, even though she is a year younger than me, and let me tell you, I'm going to need major copious amounts of fun to survive a whole month out in the middle of the Highlands on this muddy sheep farm. Although it is cool that the schools in England have us doing a month of working on a real job. I guess that’s one of the bennies about Brother having dragged us to England to live for the year while he does the scholar exchange thing—I get to do work experience, which is going to look so good on my transcripts, don’t you think?
I know, I know, you said all along it was a mistake to spend my whole month of work experience on a farm