Huh. Here I am already planning future shows with Colt.
But let’s be honest with ourselves. How could I give this up?
There’s no guarantee that any label will decide I’m worth the risk again. But who cares? We can make things happen on our own. This is what I love to do. This is what I live for.
I glance at Colt, who gives me a smile and a thumbs up to tell me he’s ready. Having this sweet, sexy man by my side to plan this and create this together? Even though I’ve already convinced myself that giving into our attraction is possibly for the best, there’s still a part of me that wonders if taking our relationship off paper and into the bedroom is a bad idea. But I’m tired of trying to play it safe.
This whole performance was a risk, and it’s already paying off. Everything that led to Golden Enigma getting where we were was a series of calculated risks and not backing down or giving up even when something didn’t go the way we wanted.
The latest hit—the accident, the rehab, the legal trouble … some things are too much to overcome. At least collectively.
But I’m not done yet. I’m not ready to give up and give this up. Not when I can have it back on my own terms.
And I’m ready for my terms to include taking advantage of sharing my bed with Colt.
Which makes it all the more fitting that this duet is called, “No Going Back.”
I return Colt’s smile, hoping it broadcasts everything I’m feeling, and turn to the crowd. “This is another new song inspired by a lot of the things that have happened in my life over the last few months, not least of which is getting hitched to this guy over here.” I pause, smiling at the claps and cheers and wolf-whistles. “It’s called ‘No Going Back.’ I hope you like it.”
Another round of cheers and applause greets my statement, but I start in with the opening right away, vamping long enough for them to grow quiet again before I start singing.
And when Colt joins in, moving in close and singing into the microphone with me, it’s the most natural thing in the world to turn and face him, to sing the rest of the song to him, and have him sing it back to me.
It’s right and it’s beautiful and the words of the song have never been more true than right in this moment. There’s no going back, and I wouldn’t want to even if I could.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Colt
It’s after midnight by the time the driver drops us off at the apartment, and I’m still flying high after that performance.
But the silence in the apartment is oppressive, and Alexis closes and locks the door softly behind us once we’re inside. We move slowly, quietly, unwilling to make too much noise as the tension between us builds.
And for the first time today, she’s avoiding my gaze, refusing to meet my eyes.
“Alexis,” I say softly, finally breaking the silence that descended the last few minutes in the car. She lifts her eyes and looks at me for the first time in what feels like ages, though it’s really only been minutes. But after the way she sang to me during the encore …
That felt significant. Like she meant every word, and they were all written for me, for us.
And having her hide and shut me out now is more than I can bear. My words to her before the encore—I didn’t mean to make it seem like I’d only perform another song if she promised to kiss me again. I was just so caught up in the moment, in what I was feeling, that I needed to let her know I wanted more. More of that. More of her. And she nodded.
But did she only agree because she needed to appease the audience?
“What I said before …” I trail off, hoping she’ll understand what I mean without words. But she simply stares at me, waiting. I clear my throat and stuff my hands in my pockets, the adrenaline leaking out of me and taking my courage with it. “I’m not going to hold you to that. I know you don’t want things to get physical, even though—” I cut myself off, stopping before I say even though it’s clear every time you kiss me that you really do want me, because that only makes me sound like an