Quinn stared at the floor instead of her. “This isn’t your fault, Ari.”
“Not directly, but I still feel every bit responsible.”
Slowly, his piercing blue gaze returned to her. “It’s worth it. Every hard minute is worth it.”
“I don’t know how you can say that. You’re in pain.”
His fingers whitened as he gripped the solid iron bars. “After this passes, we can get on with our lives. I can hold you again, and I miss that.”
She took a step closer, wanting to at least touch his hand. He’d been right about her becoming affected as well. Dreams of making love to Quinn plagued her twenty-four-seven. Her sexual drive spiralled out of control seeing him in person.
A guttural snarl rolled up his throat, stopping Ari in her tracks. Quinn’s gleaming white fangs shot out and a feral look washed through his eyes as the fury intensified.
A gut-wrenching desire to open the door and free him churned inside her.
“Resist it, Ari.” He panted and slammed his eyes shut. “The secretion’s sole purpose is to draw us together.” He shook his head rapidly, as if trying to fend off the fury.
“I’m trying.” She gasped, connecting with the images in Quinn’s mind. Animalistic and erotic. Sensual but dark. Ari wrapped her arms around herself and stepped back until the cool stone wall seeped through her t-shirt, into her shoulder blades. “I want to unlock the door.”
“No.” He exhaled, his brow creased tight. “I’d drain you dry.” He tugged on the bars with little effect. “Fuck, I want you so goddamn bad.”
She placed her palm over her stomach, nausea creeping up again.
With a deep hiss and a moment to regain control, his fangs disappeared. “What’s wrong?”
She waved her hand. “Nothing. Just nerves.”
“Cian will be with you on the drive.” Quinn pressed his forehead against his outstretched arm. “Wish I could be there when you experience moving the herd for the first time.” He paused. “Next year.”
“So do I.” Ari didn’t want to dwell on what couldn’t be changed. “I met Banjo Clancy this morning.”
A strained chuckle erupted from Quinn. “Bring his dogs?”
“He did. All twelve of them.”
“That man is probably the best drover in all of Arizona, if not the US. There’s a lot of head to get to the Fall pasture. Yours and mine. Rough terrain.”
Wanting to get closer, she stepped to just out of his reach. Not to torment him, but to satiate her own cravings.
Quinn shook his head. “You better go.” But the word “go” came out in a snarl.
His mother had taught her and Lynn to block their thoughts. Lynn had adopted the skill quickly. Ari barely managed to raise a white veil to shield herself. Claudette assured her that although a little flimsy, eventually she could restrict any vamp from getting a free pass to scrounge through her private baggage. It also helped to block Quinn, his sexual hunger so erotic, it made her pant.
Every night before bed, she lifted the veil to tell Quinn how much she loved him, but it was also distressing for her to experience the thoughts she saw in her lover’s mind. His thirst for her so overwhelming, they played the vampire version of phone sex but used mindspeak.
“Before I go, I need to tell you something,” she said.
When he raised his head to look at her, she saw the struggle in his eyes, as if another being thrashed to control the actions of the vampire she loved. The irony in all of this couldn’t be missed. She’d waited over twenty years to find a man like Quinn, and now they couldn’t even touch each other. He couldn’t drive the herd with her, a milestone she’d looked forward to sharing with him.
Quinn exhaled another long, deep breath. “Try waiting six hundred years for your mate and then fighting every second not to take the life of the woman you love.” He blinked slowly. “It’s no wonder the secretion is withheld until the mating ceremony.”
She smiled, but knew a Hallmark Moment offered little comfort. “I don’t know if this will help or hurt, but you’re going to be a father.”
For a few short seconds Quinn wrestled with the fury and stole back the control it sought to take from him. “Ari…”
“We’re going to have a baby. Try to hold onto that thought when the fury grapples to take control.” She smiled. “I love you so much, Quinn.”
He shut his eyes once again. A snarl, followed by a groan, emanated from his throat.