Arcadia's Gift - By Jesi Lea Ryan Page 0,25

and sat down by my feet.

"I heard what happened this morning."

"I don't know why I freaked out like that,” I groaned.

Aaron nodded in sympathy. In the light emanating from the hallway, I could see dark smudges under his lower lashes and hollowness in his cheeks. All at once I felt guilty for not being there more for him. I hadn't given much thought to the fact that he also lost a sister. My hand snaked out from beneath my peppermint-colored comforter and squeezed his. After a moment, he squeezed back.

"I would have warned you about the locker if I'd known you were going to go to school this morning. I couldn't look at it either."

"I shouldn't have flipped out like that. Lony had tons of friends. They have a right to mourn her the way they need to."

Aaron just bobbed his head and mashed his lips together.

"How are you, Aaron? Do you want to talk about it?"

He let out a whoosh of air. "Oh, I don't know, Cady. I imagine I'm feeling about like you are right now; sadness, anger —mostly at myself for not spending more time with her —with you both. And then this house... I’ve been kind of thinking about going to stay with Dad for a while."

“Have you told Mom yet?"

“Are you kidding?” He said with a raised eye brow, the metal bar through it glinting in the low light. “She's so doped up there’s no talking to her. I don't think she's taken a shower since the funeral. Besides, she probably wouldn’t even notice if I left."

I didn't know what to say. In the space of only a few weeks, our family as we knew it changed into something from a bad after-school special.

"I'd like to go see Dad tomorrow," I said. "Think you want to come with me?"

"Sure," he replied.

We lapsed into silence, nothing more to say. He clung to me with one hand and picked at the cuticle of his thumb with the other. Eventually, he stood up and shuffled toward the door.

Just before entering the hallway, Aaron turned back to me, his face framed in the backlight. "Think you want to try school again tomorrow?"

I shook my head. "I don't think I'm ready yet."

He nodded once in agreement. "Okay. I'll pick you up when I’m done and we can go to Dad's. Want the door closed?"

"Yeah."

Aaron left, pulling the door shut behind him. I flopped back onto my mattress. My down pillow had grown flat over the two weeks of near constant use. I yanked it out from beneath me to fluff it up. The phone started ringing. I checked the caller ID before answering. It was Bryan.

"So..." he hedged, "I’ve been sitting here for an hour debating with myself over whether I should call or not. If you don’t want to talk, that’s cool, but I at least need to know you are not sitting in the dark listening to Leonard Cohen music and contemplating banishing yourself to a European boarding school."

I grinned for the first time all day. It felt good.

"In the dark yes, but no Cohen.”

“And you’re not going to runaway to Switzerland, because right now, you are like the only friend I have here. Selfish, I know, but I am a teenager after all.”

“No Switzerland, I promise. It gets really cold there, and I don’t ski.”

We talked for a while about nothing. He never mentioned how my flip-out was talked about at school, but I'm sure even a boy with no friends would have heard the gossip bantered around. Before we hung up, I’d decided to work from home for the rest of the week and I’d start back to school fresh on Monday.

Chapter 10

The next morning, I woke early to the sound of tweeting cardinals. I peered through the binoculars and watched them flit from branch to branch around their nests. I kind of felt sorry for the females who appeared dull and brown compared to the royal red of their mates. I guess I knew what it was like to live in someone else’s glow. Emo, much?

I tossed the binoculars down on my window seat and stretched my arms up tall. I had to get out of the house. The sun was shining outside, and the constant throb of depression in my house was threatening to pull me under again. I showered, dressed and went out to the Honda Civic that I had shared with Lony. My Fallulah CD blared from the stereo, and I sung