Anything but Minor - Kate Stewart Page 0,91
pole, or hell any pole for that matter, tell yourself you aren’t going to remember the single most exciting night of your life.
“The same ‘happy’ couple gets ass raped for hosting an elaborate soiree to celebrate a marriage that will end up failing. Don’t roll your eyes at me, it’s fact. You know damn well they’re fighting over the details of the damn wedding too. Can you feel the love? Me either.
“After the ass fucking, without lube, they spend a mint on a honeymoon where they spent ninety-percent of the time shit faced and fucking, seldom leaving their resort suite, yet it cost a grand a night.
“Now they have spent a minimum of ten grand themselves and that’s if they didn’t have to pay for the damn party celebrating their ‘union’. Hell, I can celebrate a union with a fucking Happy Meal and a bottle of Jack. He brings his own condoms, now it’s a fucking party.
“Kat?” Josie sighs.
“You asked how I felt about weddings. You know damn well I’m not going to hold back.”
“What I was trying to ask is how you felt about mine. Blaine asked me to marry him last night. I want you and Cecilia to be in the wedding. I want you to be my maid of honor,” she says as sweet as Josie is.
Fighting the urge to bash my head against the counter until I knock myself completely out, I answer the only way I can, “I would be honored.”
She giggles. “Sure you would.”
I bare my teeth trying my best not to growl. “You and Blaine are different.”
She laughs. “How so?”
“His parents are loaded. I will assume you aren’t paying for the wedding. I’m sure the ring isn’t on plastic, you won’t start out that way,” I pause and try my best to dig myself out of the hole I’ve dug. This isn’t easy for me; I normally don’t give a shit if I offend. “Besides, you’ve been together four years now.”
“Five, we graduated last year,” she says.
“Right, well then, yours will be smooth sailing.”
“We’re moving about an hour from you,” she says with a big smile, I don’t even have to see her, I can hear it.
“That’s so cool. I am off Sundays and Mondays every week. We’ll get together.”
“I’d love to, and maybe meet some of your friends?”
“Josie, I promise, I have real friends.” I laugh knowing she worries about me, even though she knows I can take care of myself.
“No she doesn’t,” Ricco says walking out from the back of the shop.
“Jesus!” I jump covering my heart with my hand.
“Kat, why are you even trying to cover your heart, we all know you don’t have one,” he says and winks.
“Who was that?” Josie gasps.
“Who, Ricco? He’s the jackass I hang out with here at the shop,” I say as I flip him off.
“He has a very, very, nice voice,” she whispers.
“He does not sound like the Taco Bell dog, Josie,” I say to piss him off and embarrass her.
“I didn’t say that,” she gasps.
Ricco laughs and shakes his head. “I’m heading out.”
“Jerry Springer call?”
He turns around. “I hope you get vaginal warts.”
“Well, I hope you get three chicks knocked up and they all come after you at once,” I pause, “Oh wait, you did already.”
“Much love to you too, Kitty Kat.” He flips me off and walks out the door.
I shake my head as I watch him swing his big old leg over One and Only, his Harley. Yes, that’s its name.
“Sorry,” I laugh.
“His voice, is…” she pauses and then whispers, “sexy.”
I can’t help but laugh. “There’s a line that goes down the block to get inked by him. I can give you a ‘jump-the-line’ pass if you’re interested in one last hoorah before your nuptials.”
“Is there really?” she whispers.
“Apparently he’s a hot commodity around here. Six-foot-three of inked, pierced, testosterone, who evidently has the stamina of twenty men, or so he says.”
“So you haven’t—”
“Oh hells no! Are you serious, the guy is an STI waiting to happen. He gets paternity suits delivered to him like a funeral home gets flowers.”
She laughs. “How many kids does he have?”
“One for sure, two or three now just waiting to find out.” I laugh. “It’s almost comical. I have no idea what his aversion is to sane women, condoms, or just tossing his own meat. I mean really—”
Her laugh interrupts my rant. “Boy or girl?”
“Little girl, she’s three,” I answer.
“I can’t wait to have babies,” she says with a coo. “You need to get