Anyone But Nick (Anyone But... #3) - Penelope Bloom Page 0,77
And, yeah, a zucchini should hardly be classified as food, since it’s basically just a phallic-shaped bag of water, but I did throw it at him.”
“It also looked nothing like George Washington,” Iris added.
“Yeah, well,” Cade said, “the joke went over his head anyway.” He drummed his fingers on the table and grinned like an idiot. “Actually he had really bad reflexes, and it kind of hit him right in the forehead, but, figuratively, he just didn’t get it.”
Iris was shaking her head slowly.
Kira was frowning. “Is that a true story?” she asked.
“Unfortunately,” Iris said. “The worst part is that I’m friends with the guy’s wife. The man was just trying to make an interesting comment about the rain.”
“Interesting,” Cade said. “Or pretentious. You be the judge.”
“So,” I said. “Speaking of interesting, I didn’t actually ask you all to meet us here so we could hear about Cade throwing things at people. Robbie actually sent a friend of his to gather dirt on me and Nick while we were at Julian Ridge.”
“Okay, wait,” Cade said. “Can we pause here and just get a solid confirmation for the curious listening audience? Did you two bone yet, because she’s kinda got this glow thing going on, and Nick looks a couple inches shorter when he’s sitting down, which I can only assume to mean he’s no longer sitting on his catastrophically swollen blue balls.”
Iris elbowed him. “Don’t talk like that in front of Bear.”
“What?” Cade asked. “I used code words. Did you understand what I was talking about, bud?”
“Something about dog toys?” Bear asked.
“See?” Cade said, and then he turned his eyes expectantly back on me. “Dogs love blue balls. Just ask the innocent mind of our child.”
“That’s beside the point,” I said. “Anyway—”
“No,” Cade said. “The point we’re concerned with right now is between Nick’s legs. Inquiring minds want to know if you got the point, if you catch my meaning.”
Iris elbowed him but didn’t take her eyes from me.
“Let her finish,” Nick said.
“No, it’s fine.” I looked at Bear and tried to think of an appropriate way to say what I wanted to say. “I got Nick’s point. Loud and clear.” I felt an unexpected grin spread across my face as soon as I said it. The old me would’ve held that in as long as I could. I would’ve been too worried they’d think I was easy or desperate. Today, I was happy to realize I didn’t really care much what they thought—at least not more than I cared about the fact that I was happy, and I wasn’t going to apologize for that or try to hide it. “And it was great,” I added.
Nick stifled a laugh from beside me.
Cade and Rich shared a look with their lips pursed, then gave Nick a brotherly nod of approval.
“As much as it’s slightly disturbing to casually talk about this,” Rich said, “I am happy you two are working things out. It’s kind of like we completed a circle here.”
“Not entirely,” Cade said. He held up his hand and tapped the ring on his finger.
“Can you just let her finish, please?” Nick asked.
I cleared my throat. “This friend of Robbie’s, Max Frost, is—”
Cade burst out laughing. “Wait a second. Seriously? The guy’s name is Max Frost? Does he work as a character in a video game on the side? Maybe a bad guy in a cheesy straight-to-DVD movie?”
Iris pulled out her Taser and aimed it at Cade. “I know you’ve been up to no good, Max Frost. Drop the freeze ray and come quietly, or I’ll aim for your nipples.”
“Do that and you’ll regret it,” Cade said in a deep, goofy voice. “Because Max Frost loves a little Taser action on the—”
Iris jabbed him in the shoulder with her knuckles and cleared her throat.
Cade sighed. “All I’m saying is that Max Frost is the kind of name a seven-year-old boy would give himself if he got a chance for a redo. This was a grown man, right? Not a child?”
I closed my eyes and wished for the patience to survive this. “Yes, his name is Max Frost. I’m pretty sure he changed his last name at some point after he became a TV reporter.”
Rich’s expression darkened. “A reporter? What did he want?”
“He figured out that Nick and I had a past back in high school. Now he’s got this story put together that’ll make it look like Nick only bought Bark Bites so he could hook up with me.”