because Kyle hasn’t seen it enough. But whatever; it’s Kyle’s show, Kyle’s pre-holiday hurrah. And what’s a night on the town, in this town, without Goldfinger’s? Rank can only hope he won’t be dragooned into service as a bouncer upon the brothers’ arrival at the bar — at the same time, though, he can’t see how he won’t be. The Goldfinger’s clientele can keep a bouncer pretty busy come one in the morning; Ivor is sure to need help at some point, and Rank won’t have much choice but to pitch in if he wants to keep his lucrative new gig riding shotgun in the Dodge.
So, shit. Only thing for it is to get as drunk as he can before then.
This happens to be the train of Rank’s thoughts when Adam, reading his mind like Kreskin, confides out of the blue, “Seriously, I could do without Goldfinger’s tonight.”
And Rank says, “Oh God I was just thinking the same thing. It’s where I work now, you know? The novelty kind of wears off after a while.”
“You should say that to Kyle.”
“Yeah. I just can’t stand to disappoint the little guy.”
They are huddled together at a table at the Leeside. Kyle has gone off somewhere to schmooze the other tables, as he is always helpless to do, even on an evening that is ostensibly all about “the boys.” Wade, meanwhile, is onstage doing an actually pretty brilliant David Byrne. He makes his face vacant and flails robotically and you can practically see the oversized suit flopping against his limbs. Every once and a while Adam and Rank stop talking to admire him.
“No, really, you should,” says Adam. “People don’t say no to Kyle nearly enough.”
“You could say something too you know,” says Rank.
“He ignores me. He doesn’t ignore you.”
“Yeah,” says Rank, watching Wade.
Better than this, sings Wade.
“You don’t need to tiptoe around Kyle, by the way,” says Adam.
“I don’t fucking tiptoe around Kyle.”
“Okay. Well if you thought you did.”
Rank realizes what Adam is talking about: how Rank shoved Kyle that time. And he wants to say, It’s not Kyle I feel like I’m on fucking eggshells around these days. And maybe he will say something like that after a few more drinks.
Somebody calls you, sings Wade, but you cannot hear.
“You know, he’s really good,” says Rank. “We ride him all the time about the rock star stuff, but he could do it.”
“He’s too lazy,” replies Adam. Rank looks over at him.
“You said that with, like, no hesitation whatsoever.”
“It’s true,” says Adam. “He doesn’t want to work at it. He just fucks around.”
“So he should be like you?”
“What’s like me?”
Rank is still sober enough to know he should back off a little. “I mean like what you said at the restaurant — locking yourself in your room and studying ’til you wanna kill somebody. I don’t know how productive that is either in the long run.”
Adam grimaces up at Wade spinning around onstage in his imaginary big suit and says, “I’m trying to get somewhere. I’m trying to achieve something.” And Rank is looking at him very closely because Adam says this in exactly the same way he once confessed to being afraid of fat people, of getting fat. That is, with real fear behind it and also shame. And Rank feels the same instinct he felt then — a kind of fatherly need to reassure.
“Grix, you’re a born brain. You’re gonna kill on exams, don’t worry.”
“I’m not a born brain,” says Adam. “Everything is actually really hard for me if you want to know the truth.”
“Fuck off,” says Rank kindly.
Adam puts down his drink and his hand, startlingly white, flies out at Wade like a dove. “Guy can sing, play guitar — easy. He doesn’t even have to try. Just get stoned and follow Kyle around for the rest of his life. I don’t have any talents. I have to work and I have to think. I have to force myself to spend a lot of time just thinking, Rank. I’m twenty already. I have to get good.”
Rank doesn’t have any idea what his friend Adam is talking about.
That knowledge won’t come round for almost another twenty years.
All that it takes, sings Wade. All that it takes.
Kyle returns to their table then, arms spread wide.
27
08/14/09, 12:22 p.m.
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND if I take a break here. I’m not sure if you noticed but we’re well into August already and Gord is basically healed up and I only have a couple of