fair, there hadn’t been that many occasions when I’d felt he was favouring Victor over Phoebe. Even then, when I’d got off my high horse, I’d often had to accept that Patrick’s focus on Victor was more around shared interests – which weights they lifted in the gym and high body count films – than specifically about a particular child.
He kissed me gently on the lips and murmured, ‘As long as I don’t have to speak to her. Or Lee.’
‘Just a hello so we have the high moral ground. Otherwise we’ll spend the whole evening knowing exactly where they are in the room and have to make the effort to ignore them. I don’t want our special occasion to be taken up with thinking about them at all.’
Patrick stroked my cheek. ‘When did you get to be so wise, Mrs Clark? Go on then. Tell Victor we’ll open our doors to the enemy.’
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jasmine came to help me check the set-up in the pub. She’d brought armfuls of daffodils and tulips and a box of mismatched jugs. ‘Daffs are from my garden. Bit early for the tulips, so Morrisons had to help out with those.’
‘You must let me pay for them.’
Jasmine turned her head on one side. ‘I bought them because you’re my friend. So I will be hugely offended if you start scrabbling about for your pound coins. Thanks all the same.’ Her big gappy grin brought spring sunshine into the room.
‘Thank you.’
‘Now, I’ve got Kai on board and some of the younger ones – I mean, no point in having a tribe if you don’t put them to work. I don’t want you worrying about which platter is the gluten-free and which one hasn’t got I don’t know what in it. I’ll get my brood offering everything round so you can just enjoy yourself.’
Big parties where I was in the spotlight, albeit a joint spotlight, didn’t usually have ‘enjoy’ as a subtitle, but Patrick had been very clear. ‘We’re not skulking about, hanging our heads and hoping people stop talking about the “Ooh, that boy was Patrick’s son. Wonder what she thought of that. Fly on the wall…” What we’re doing is celebrating, loud and proud, the addition to our family. Nothing will stop them all muttering behind their hands more quickly than us getting it right out there.’
I was glad I had Jasmine with me. Ninety per cent of me was polishing the fuck off finger for what everyone else thought, with a residual ten per cent of politician’s wife mortification standing by her man after he’d been caught on a bondage website.
Jasmine laughed when I told her how I felt. ‘Honestly, anyone who matters will be in awe of what you’ve done: managed to keep your little family together, hold down a job, deal with your best friend dying, take in her son, survive the hoo-ha about him being Patrick’s, get Phoebe back on track – she did brilliantly in that rugby tournament last weekend. You’ve juggled it all and barely broken a sweat.’
‘Um, that’s a very positive picture you’re painting there. Not quite the reality, but thank you.’
‘No one’s reality is perfect, despite what some of the people round here would have you believe.’ She paused. ‘You’ve kept your marriage together, which is a lot more than most.’
I did allow myself a little flash of pride at that. And I was also starting to make headway on accepting that Ginny had kept Victor a secret not to wound me but to avoid hurting me. Betrayal was no longer my default option when I thought of her. Missing her was, though.
Jasmine lined up some vases on the windowsill. ‘You’re so hard on yourself. When everyone gets here tonight, every time you doubt yourself, just have a look round the room and ask, which of the couples in this pub would be improved by being under a million times more stress than normal? Faye and Lee? Andrea and Rod? And look at me – just having children at all finished us off.’ And she dipped her head as though she’d made her point. Which she had.
Her optimism reminded me of Ginny’s mantra: ‘Haters gonna hate. Our job is to love, love, love and look so happy while we’re doing it, the hater will hate themselves.’ I’d never be able to replace Ginny but Jasmine’s friendship and view of the world did wonders for my confidence.
Patrick arrived with Phoebe and Victor, who were struggling to disguise their glee