Another Life Altogether: A Novel - By Elaine Beale Page 0,127
turned and scrambled after him.
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Evelyn …” Ted’s tuneless voiced boomed down the hallway. When he reached the kitchen, he pushed open the door and concluded, “happy birthday to you.” He pulled the fox-fur coat from his shoulder and, holding it out to my mother, made a bowing gesture and announced, “Your carriage awaits, madam.”
“Ted!” My mother leaped from her chair and rushed across the room. “Oh, Ted,” she said, taking the coat from him, holding it against her cheek and nuzzling her face into it. “It’s gorgeous.”
“Here, why don’t you put it on?” Ted took the coat from my mother and eased it over her shoulders. My mother wriggled her arms into the sleeves and did a little twirl in the middle of the kitchen.
“Makes you look like a film star, Ev,” he said.
“You think so?” my mother asked breathily as she ran her hands over the coat.
“’Course I do.”
My mother pulled a troubled frown. “Is it real?”
“Real?” Ted looked put out. “Of course it’s bloody real. One hundred percent genuine bloody fox fur.”
At this, Mabel, who’d been sitting silently at the kitchen table with Frank, laughed. “More like one hundred percent squirrel fur, I should think,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“Oh, and I suppose you’re an expert on fur coats, Mabel,” Ted said.
“No, but I’m an expert on you. And either there’s something wrong with that coat or there’s something very dodgy about its history. Where’d you get it from, anyway? Nicked it, did you?”
“Bloody hell, Mabel. Of course I didn’t nick it—”
“What, walk into the women’s department in Hammonds and buy it for Evelyn, then, did you?”
“Well, no … I mean, who can afford to get anything from Hammonds? Mate of mine sold it to me.”
“Oh, yeah, and this mate, where’d he get it from?”
“I don’t know—I expect he picked it up somewhere.”
“Oh,” said Mabel, making her eyes wide. “Picked it up somewhere, did he? Found it on the street, did he? Just happened upon it as he was walking along Hessle Road? ‘Oh, look,’ he says, ‘there’s a fur coat—I think I’ll take that home and sell it to my mate Ted.’” She laughed. “God, Ted, you think I was born yesterday?”
“No, Mabel,” Ted said, pausing to light a cigarette, “‘course I don’t think you were born yesterday. Let’s face it, you’re a bit too wrinkly for that.”
“Ooh, I’ll smack you, I really will,” Mabel said, shaking a fist in his direction.
“You’re only jealous.” My mother, who had been absorbed in running her hands over the coat’s smooth surface, piped up.
“What do you mean?” Mabel narrowed her eyes.
“I mean you’re jealous. If Ted turned up with a fox-fur coat for you, you wouldn’t say a word. But because he brought it for me—well, you can’t stand it, can you?”
“Rubbish,” Mabel huffed. “I’m just tired of him getting himself involved in all this malarkey. Receiving stolen property, burglary, petty theft. Christ! Surely you should know better by now.”
“Oh, for God’s sake, Mabel. I only brought our Ev a coat. It’s not like I showed up with the takings from the local Barclays Bank, is it?”
“Same thing, you ask me,” Mabel said. “I told Mike and Ev that I think they’re mad taking you in like this.”
“And I’m very grateful, I really am. And what better way to show my gratitude than by bringing Evelyn a nice present?”
“I’m warning you, Ted,” Mabel said, wagging a finger at him. “Evelyn and Mike have enough on their plate. And they’ve been generous enough to give you an opportunity to finally set yourself straight. You cause any trouble while you’re here and I swear, I will never, ever speak to you again.” She paused as if to let this last comment sink in. “I mean it, Ted, I really do.”
“Bloody hell, Mabel. I’ve not been here five minutes and you’re giving me a lecture.”
“And you’ve not been two days out of jail and you’re bringing home stolen property.”
“I don’t want you to go to prison again, Uncle Ted,” I said, going over to him and tugging on his arm. All this talk about Ted’s illicit activity was making me nervous. I wanted him to stay, but I also wanted him to stay out of trouble, and I certainly didn’t want his presence to jeopardize the sliver of stability we had in our home.
“Oh, don’t you worry, love,” Ted said, patting my hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”