Anne Perry s Christmas Mysteries Page 0,81

but could not bring herself to come to the subject easily. His hands were numb and his feet so cold he was losing sensation in them also, but he felt her need as sharply as the wind rattling the bare branches above them. Did she know something about the Reverend Wynter's death? Was that what she was struggling to say?

"Of course, we will probably not be here for very long," he prompted her, surprised again by the regret in his voice. "Once the bishop finds a permanent replacement for the Reverend Wynter, we will return to London. From everything I hear, he was a most remarkable man, one whose shoes it will not be easy to fill."

"He was," she said eagerly. "Oh, he was. So kind. So very patient. One knew one could trust him with anything." She took a deep, shuddering breath. "But I think perhaps you are the same, Reverend Corde. It seems to me you are a man who has understood pain." She looked away from him, and he knew she was afraid she had been too bold.

He hastened to reassure her. "Thank you. That is a very fine thing to say, Mrs. Towers. I shall endeavor to live up to it. At least I can say that I understand loneliness, and the grief of knowing that you have done something ugly and wrong. But I also know there is a path back."

They walked in silence for several yards. Crows wheeled up in the sky, cawing harshly, then circled back into the lower branches again.

"I was going to speak to the Reverend Wynter," she said at last. "I wanted to make a confession, but..."

"I think he knew that," Dominic said for her, still holding her arm. "Let's turn back, or we will have too far to go. All the earth is God's house. You do not have to speak in a church for it to be a sacred trust."

"No, no, I suppose not. I kept doing little things wrong, you see, to find out if he would forgive them, before I...before I told him the real thing."

He walked a few moments, perhaps thirty or forty yards along the path, and then he prompted her again. "Was it you who took the pennies from the collection for the poor?"

She drew in her breath with a little cry. "It was only pennies! I made it up, always! I gave extra..."

He put his other hand over her arm, holding her more tightly. "That doesn't matter. The books were never short. I know that. But you wanted to speak to him, and never quite found the resolve." He did not use the word courage. "Perhaps now would be a good time?"

She gulped again. "I...I committed a...a terrible sin when I was young. I'm so ashamed, and it can never be undone. I wanted to confess, but...but I...he was such a good man, I was afraid he would despise me..."

"Then tell me, Mrs. Towers. I am not so very good. I understand very well what it feels like to sin, and to repent."

"I do repent, I do!"

"Then cast it on the Lord, and be free of it."

"But I must pay!"

"I think that is not for you to decide. What is it you did that is so heavy for you to bear?"

"I had a love affair," she whispered. "Oh, I did love him. You see, I am not Mrs. Towers. I never married. And...and..." Again she could not find the words.

He guessed. "You had a child?"

She nodded. "Yes." She took a few more steps. "I only saw her for a few moments, then they took her away from me. She was so beautiful." The tears were flowing down her face now. In moments the wind would freeze them on her cold skin. She must have been nearly seventy, and yet the memory was as sharp as yesterday.

He ached to do anything that would take away the pain. Could the compassion in his own heart speak for God? Surely God had to be better, greater than he was?

"Is that all?" he asked her.

"Is that not enough?" she said incredulously.

"Yes. And the penance you have already paid is enough also. More than enough. God forgave you long ago. And the Reverend Wynter would tell you that, were he here."

"I wish I'd had the courage to tell him," she said, swallowing hard.

"Did he not guess?" he asked.

"Oh, no. He knew I wished to say something, but he did not know what it was." She sounded certain.

"He