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yours forever.”

Our wedding night was something indescribable. We’d already said all of the words. Thought the thoughts. That night we just felt each other, communicating with each other by touch. He gave me what I needed, no holding back. All speech reduced to murmurs and moans, our names the only words that made any sense.

We didn’t even get up when we were finished to straighten up the bed, get water, or brush our teeth. We were sated just as we were.

I fell asleep listening to his heart beating slowly and his shallow breathing, tucked into his arms where I belonged.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

THERE WAS NO PLACE else in the world I’d rather be. My wife was in my arms.

Our wedding had been flawless. Best day of my life.

But our wedding night was something completely different. I’d expected ravenous sex and arms and legs everywhere. After the reception, I wanted to consume her. There was a feeling inside me to claim her like I never had before.

Then everything changed.

She was having our baby.

I’m not saying my passion went away, or I didn’t want to fuck the hell out of my brand new bride—I did. I probably always will. But it was different. I was different.

It wasn’t about getting to a climax because I already felt like I was there. Her telling me I was going to be a father was the single biggest rush of my life. It was the best gift. The biggest present. The most valuable thing anyone had ever given me. I was blown away.

“When did you find out?” I asked her the next morning. The sun was just coming up and she was looking through the room service menu.

“Only earlier this week. It was killing me not to tell you. I had to drink shitty sparkling cider all weekend. I wanted it to be special.” Mission accomplished.

“It was. I almost passed out.” She tossed the binder aside, rolled over and perched her head on my chest. I’d been laying there staring at the ceiling for a while. I remembered when Cory told me about them being pregnant and how freaked out he’d been at first. I didn’t feel anything like that. Of course, we were a few years older than they were then and we were married—just barely. Kind of.

“Are you still happy about it? It’s not too soon?”

“Yes, I’m happy. I was shocked, but honeybee, this is the best thing ever. We’re having a baby. Our very own little person to play with and teach and dote on. I couldn’t be happier. Seriously.” It was the truth.

There wasn’t one negative thing I could think of. Sure, some couples like to wait awhile and get a house or spend more time together first, but all of that was bullshit.

We had a house and having a kid would only make it worth more to me. In one night my attention had shifted. My priorities had changed. Somewhat.

I still loved what I did, but I didn’t want to be away from her—especially now. It would make me a lunatic thinking I was missing something or not there when she needed me. I had a lot of thinking to do.

“Good, because I’m really excited. It didn’t even freak me out, Casey.” Her eyes got glassy as she stared out the window. “All I could think was, everything just keeps getting better. You know? Like maybe everything we went through, all of that crap from before, was a price we paid for all of this. Like we’d done our time or something.”

I understood what she was saying. Sometimes I felt like that too.

I said, “Yeah, like the past two weeks when I couldn’t have sex with you made last night so fucking good.” My analogy was weak, but it was the same thing when you boiled it all down. Bad times helped you realize how good the best times are. They give you perspective. Teach you how to appreciate what you have.

“Yeah, something like that.” She snapped out of whatever daydream was floating around in her pre-coffee daze. “I’m hungry.” She hadn’t had her post-coital snack last night. I bet she could eat one of everything on the menu. I was starving too.

We ordered omelets, fruit and coffee and when that wasn’t enough, she ordered some oatmeal and orange juice to top it off. She said that she’d have to start cutting back on coffee, but not today.

There wasn’t much we had to do before we left on our honeymoon, and