The Amish Midwife - By Mindy Starns Clark Page 0,133

a hospital, so she drove herself to the nearest emergency room which happened to be in Norristown. She was determined to get through the entire labor and delivery all by herself, but as the night wore on, her resolve weakened. Finally, she called a neighbor here and asked if they could get word to us about where she was and what was happening. The moment they told me I hired a driver and had him take me straight to Norristown Hospital to be with her. I made it just in time to see you come into the world.”

I expected Mammi to burst into tears at the very thought, but instead a broad smile broke out on her face.

“You were so perfect, Alexandra. So beautiful. At that moment, I knew it didn’t matter who your father was or what Giselle had done in the past. You were here, and that was enough.”

As I wondered what happened to derail that thought, Mammi continued, glancing at Klara before she added that there was just one problem.

“Giselle was very hurt by Klara, not just from the angry words they had exchanged but also from the fact that Klara had declined to come with me to the hospital. So she did something out of spite—something I know she eventually lived to regret.”

Even before Mammi said it I knew. As a final stick of the knife both to Klara and her husband, my mother had decided to name me Alexandra.

My sympathies dimmed for the helpless Giselle as I thought how absolutely cruel and wrong that had been. No matter how hurt or angry she was, what had given her the right to do something as awful as that?

“Of course,” Mammi continued, “once she and I brought little Alexandra back home, things went from bad to worse. Klara and Giselle could hardly bear the sight of each other. Poor Alexander was angry and embarrassed, especially when church members began speculating about the reason for the child’s name. Thank goodness Alexander had involved the bishop from the very beginning, telling him everything, or the church might have eventually taken action to have him excommunicated and shunned.”

I looked over at Alexander, who was back in his chair now but holding on to Klara’s hand. I felt terribly sorry, even complicit somehow, and I wished there was some way I could apologize on behalf of my mother.

“What kind of mom was she?” I asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

“In spite of everything, Giselle loved you very much,” Mammi replied, “but she had no idea how to take care of an infant, and she did not seem interested in learning. She left the hard parts to Marta and me and spent most of her time either resting or quietly playing with you.”

“Sounds like she may have been suffering from postpartum depression,” James interjected. I had a feeling he was right.

James and I both looked back at Mammi.

“Whatever was causing it,” she continued, “at that time all I could do was wring my hands and pray for patience and try to prod her into action.”

I nodded, trying to picture it, knowing that must have been a difficult time for everyone. No wonder they had eventually given me away. Sick, my own mother thought I was too much trouble to bother with.

“Given that Giselle is Ada’s mother too,” James said to Mammi, “I assume that at some point she and Burke Bauer rekindled their affair?”

“Worse than that,” Mammi replied. “They ran off together.”

Ada and I looked at each other in surprise.

“At first Giselle tried to stay away from him. She focused on the baby and helped around the house—when she was not resting. Mostly, she withdrew into herself. But one day, when Alexandra was about six months old, Giselle got the notion to go into town. We had sold her car, so she strapped up a horse to the buggy, took Alexandra, and left. I do not know what her intention was at that point. She said she only wanted to do some shopping, maybe visit with some friends. But I think perhaps she was lying, that what she really intended was to go straight to Burke Bauer and show him his daughter.”

“She did not come back?” Ada asked breathlessly.

Mammi shook her head, blinking away fresh tears.

“That night several young men from the nursery brought back the horse and buggy, along with a letter from Giselle. It said something about how she and the baby were fine but that they were not