American Hero - George R. R. Martin Page 0,19

while all Pop-Tart could do was bounce off the walls and flash her [bleep] at the cameras. Then they vote me off.

Three to one to one to one. I know who voted against me. I just know it. It was those no-good [bleep]s and their boy toy, that nasty boy-slut the Candle. He’s doing them both, probably, though Cleo’s really hot for Drummer Boy. It’s that big bulge he carries in his pants she craves so much—the one in his back pocket. If Rachel and Rusty had only listened to me, maybe we could have gotten rid of Cleo. Or Rosa. Either one. They’re both against me because I’m cuter than both of ’em put together.

I don’t need this show to get into showbiz. I can get into showbiz anytime I want to. My whole family is in showbiz. What do I need with this weak [bleep] Hero [bleep]? Uncle Osiris can get me a job at the Luxor like that. That would be awesome. Then maybe I could find my dad and we would work together . . .

That was all I ever wanted from this American Hero [bleep] anyway. I don’t need their [bleep]ing million dollars. With my ace I can make as much money as I want. Everyone knows that. I just wanted to get on the television so that my dad would see me—he’s probably watching now, I’m sure—wherever he is. My dad’s the real thing. Don’t believe that [bleep] about him dying down in Memphis. He told my mom that he faked all that so he could walk the Earth and take care of business. He’d absolutely own this show if he were on it. Absolutely. He’s the king. He really is. He’s not some faker, some cheap [bleep] impersonator—he’s the real deal, the one and the only.

If you’re watching now, Dad, I guess I’m going back to Vegas. Mom misses you and wishes you’d come back. Uncle Thoth and Uncle Osiris are cool too. Don’t worry about Anubis—we’ll keep him on a leash. I don’t mind that you’ve been gone all these years. I know that you’re an important man with important work to do in the world and now that I’m an ace too, I can help you.

I remember when my card first turned, I was watching a tape of your Vegas comeback special and I was thinking about you and how cool it would be if you were like actually around to be my daddy. When it hit me I was so scared, I didn’t know what was happening.

I mean, I did know what was happening, but, you know, when your card is turning for the first time you’re afraid you’re going to die and then when you realize that you’re not dying you figure that you’re getting some kind of power and you hope that it’s something cool like the ability to read minds or be strong or whatever but when I turned into a pile of [bleep]ing sand, man, it just freaked me out. I mean, what the [bleep] was up with that? Why couldn’t I get a pair of gorgeous wings like Peregrine, or some cool power where I could wear a cool costume like Mistral? But no—I turned into a [bleep]ing pile of sand.

But still—I can do things. I can fly. I could hurt you real bad if I wanted to.

Confessional: Jerusha Carter aka Gardener

I guess I should be real happy right now.

And I am, actually. I mean, you look at the tape and you’ll see me up there on the stage jumping up and down and screaming and hugging all the rest of ’em when Peregrine announced that the Hearts team won the second challenge. It felt great, honest. I was just as stoked as anyone there, and I was running on pure adrenaline for the rest of the night. I can still bring back that feeling. Heck, if they’d asked me to do this thing on that night, I’d be sittin’ here babbling and screaming like some fangirl. “We won! We really won!”

But . . .

The rush is mostly gone now, and I’ve been doing some thinking. Y’know, it’s real obvious to me that this gift I have . . . well, it’s not like anyone else’s. I don’t have a “hero’s” gift. I ain’t strong like that obnoxious DB, I can’t blow things up with a marble like Curveball, I can’t make things out of glowing girders or cause the Earth to move.

And let’s face