American Hero - George R. R. Martin Page 0,16

how else would they even be able to set up a course that would be a challenge for us?

Anyway, everything was going great until we got to the danged treasure chest part of the challenge. And you know what? We really are the worst team. Everyone on the other teams has these awesome powers, but the only person who can really kick butt on our team is Bubbles. And, let’s face it, she tried hard, but her power wasn’t a big help today.

What? Oh, are you kidding? My power is completely stupid. But I’m not on the show because of my power. I’m on the show because I’m pretty. And I’m “good TV.” I told them in my interview that I would do anything to become the next American Hero. And I meant it.

Yeah, my family is poor. Poor as dirt. Winning American Hero would be huge. I could get my brothers out of the mines and maybe even buy a house so my sisters could stop living in trailers. And I’ve got nieces and nephews who are going to end up just like my brothers and sisters if I don’t do something about it.

But you know what really stinks? Dragon Girl. That’s just not right. She’s a kid. And her power is incredible. And I am going to hate being up against her at the end. Do you know how hard it’s going to be for me to beat her? And no one’s going to vote her off. Who’s going to vote off the kid?

The other teams have it made. Especially Hearts. It’s like someone decided that they would be The Team. They’ve got Gardener, Earth Witch, Hardhat, Curveball, and Drummer Boy. I mean, how can the rest of the teams really compete with that?

On the other hand, losing last week meant we got rid of Joe Twitch, so I can’t say as it was such a bad thing.

And you know, Stuntman and Drummer Boy are really cute. I would so love to be able to make an alliance with one of them. It would make the down time pass a lot faster. As I see it, the big problem isn’t getting rid of the people you don’t want around. It’s keeping enough numbers with your own alliance to be strong when the suits are merged. But if we keep losing we’re done for.

Oh, I wasn’t worried about going home this week. Like I said, my power is pretty sucky. I guess I should say, “Pretty, but sucky.” And I wasn’t much help in the challenge. Except for Jetman, none of us did all that well. So the vote was down to who you liked, and who you thought might be useful later on.

I knew I had Bubbles on my side. I’d struck up a friendship with her during the Atlanta tryouts. See, most people wouldn’t talk to her because she was so fat. And by the later tryouts, most had seen what her bubbles could do. But I had this feeling she’d be going through. And now she’s firmly in my alliance.

I convinced her that we had to get rid of Blrr. And after a while, she agreed with me. I mean, going insanely fast on roller blades, it’s cool to look at and all, but useless in just about any challenge. And she’s cute, and I don’t need any more competition in the cute department.

Anyway, I’ve been flirting with Matryoshka. Okay, I’ve been flirting with everyone. It’s boring as all get-out between challenges. I’ve got to do something. So I went and talked to Matryoshka, and it turned out that Blrr was lobbying to get me voted out. And you know I wasn’t going to let that happen.

Matryoshka is a honey, but he’s not the brightest penny in the pocket, if you know what I mean. So, I talked to him awhile and he decided he’d rather have me around than Blrr.

Then I had to chat up the Maharajah. Oh, Lord, he’s so serious. You have no idea how flat-out dull he can be.

And his power is no great shakes either. He’s great as long as there are extra clothes around. And that’s handy as long as you bring a basket of laundry with you during a challenge.

Oh, the Discard, right.

So, I’m going into Discard and I’m pretty sure about my alliance. It’s me, Bubbles, Matryoshka, and the Maharajah. But you never know with these things. Any one of them could backdoor me. And Jetman doesn’t much