The Ambassador's Mission: Book One of th - By Trudi Canavan Page 0,32
either,” he pointed out.
“Not in any way that could be traced to them.”
Lorkin shook his head in frustration. “Nobody is going to slip poison into my food or cut my throat in my sleep. Even if I wasn’t able to use magic to treat one and shield against the other, nobody is going to risk breaking the peace between our countries.”
“Or else they’ll see you as the perfect excuse to spoil it.” Sonea leaned forward. “They might be offended that the Guild sent Akkarin’s son there. Your little sight-seeing trip might ruin everything the Guild has worked for since the invasion.”
His eyes widened, then his face hardened.
“It’s not a sight-seeing trip. I … I want to help Lord Dannyl. I think what he’s trying to do is … is … it could help us. By looking into the past we might find new knowledge – new magic – that could help us defend ourselves. Perhaps we won’t have to use black magic any more.”
For a moment Sonea could not speak. Surprise was quickly followed by a wave of guilt.
“You’re not on a quest to save me, or something, are you?” she asked, her voice unintentionally weak.
“No!” He shook his head. “If we found such magic it would help us all. It might even help the Sachakans. If they didn’t need black magic they might be less resistant to ending slavery.”
Sonea nodded. “It seems to me that anyone could go looking for this new magic. Lord Dannyl is already seeking it. Why do you have to go?”
Lorkin paused. “Lord Dannyl is only interested in filling in the gaps in history. I’m more interested in how that history – that knowledge – could be used now. And in the future.”
She felt a chill run down her spine. A quest for magical knowledge. Exactly what had spurred Akkarin on to explore the world, and eventually enter Sachaka. And that quest had ended very, very badly.
“Such a desire for knowledge led to your father becoming a slave,” she told him, “and he was lucky it only led to that, and not his death.”
A thoughtful look passed over Lorkin’s face, then he straightened and shook his head.
“But this is different. I’m not wandering, unwelcome and uninformed, into a hostile land. The Guild knows much more about Sachaka now. Sachakans know more about us.”
“The Guild knows only what the Sachakans have allowed us to know. There must be – will be – plenty that was kept from our Ambassadors. They can’t be completely sure you will be safe there.”
He nodded. “I won’t argue that there’s no risk. But it is up to the Higher Magicians to decide if the risk is higher for me.”
He has doubts, she thought. He isn’t turning a blind eye to the risks.
“And I’m sure you’ll make them consider every possible consequence,” he added. He looked up at her. “If I promise that I will come home the moment Lord Dannyl or I have the slightest suspicion of danger, will you withdraw your protest?”
She smiled wryly. “Of course not.”
He scowled.
“I am your mother,” she reminded him. “I’m supposed to stop you harming yourself.”
“I’m not a child any more. I’m twenty years old.”
“But you are still my son.” She met his gaze, holding it despite the anger in his eyes. “I know you will be angry at me if I succeed in preventing you going. I’d rather that than you were dead. I’d rather you joined the Lonmar cult and I never saw you again. At least I’d know you were alive and happy.” She paused. “You say you are not a child any more. Then ask yourself: are you doing this, even only partly, in order to defy your mother? How much of your wanting to go comes from wanting to make your mark as an adult? If you took those two desires away, would you want to go as much?”
Lorkin said nothing, but his face was tight with anger. Suddenly he stood up.
“You don’t understand. I finally find something worth doing and you … you have to try to spoil it. Why can’t you just wish me luck and be glad that I might achieve something with my life instead of sitting around getting drunk or taking roet?”
His face red, he strode to the door and left her room.
Leaving Sonea frozen, unable to do anything but stare at the door, her heart torn between love and pride, the determination to protect him and the fear that she might fail.