Amaranth - By Rachael Wade Page 0,8

ducks. Simple. I get it. Now spill.”

I sighed. “I haven’t talked to you about him because there’s nothing to tell. Besides, you know how I am about talking on the phone. It’s so impersonal. I didn’t want to get into it.” I shrugged.

“Okay, well I’m here now. No phones. So let’s hear it.”

Of course. Get right to the point, Camille. She was so impatient. So blunt. So ... Audrey. I hesitated, trying to figure out how to be as truthful as possible without alarming her. I couldn’t have her run off and confront him herself, before I had the chance to try the protection spell. Knowing how enraged she’d be when she found out, I doubted she would be able to hear the rest of the story.

“It’s not a big deal. He seemed great. Someone I could relate to. We dated for the past year, and ... he turned out to be a jerk. So now we’re going through the breakup. And it’s hard.”

She shook her head. “I knew something was up. You dated for a year, and you don’t tell me anything?” Annoyance had crept into her tone. “Never mind that. Do you still love him?”

Which question to answer first? Which was safest? “He turned out to treat me ... badly. I didn’t really love him. It was more of an unhealthy attachment. An addictive relationship, I guess you could say.”

That was the truth. But what was I supposed to do next? Rip my sleeve up my arm and just show her? She knew I went through this with the last guy in Seattle, but this time I’d let it go on for over a year.

“Well I can understand that, Cam. I mean, you’ve been through a lot. Moving out here all by yourself, after going through everything with your mom and dad, and him ... you needed a friend, someone you could hang out with. Trying to fill a void, you know.”

Thank you, Dr. Audrey. “Yeah, but I screwed up. I’ve never needed anyone to feel adequate. Not like this. Not until I met him. I wasn’t thinking clearly, I guess. So when he came along, if I wasn’t with him, I felt so empty. But I made a big mistake. One that’s going to take a while to forgive myself for.”

She reached out, squeezed my shoulder. “Sometimes you get into a relationship, and the person turns out to be no good. It happens. You make it sound like you committed a crime. I can’t imagine anything worse than what you left in Seattle.”

Dread filled my mind and overwhelmed me. “Seriously, did you change your major to Psych and forget to tell me? You need to go be a counselor, not a cook.” Sarcasm wasn’t working. “I’m just angry with myself. That’s the best I can explain it. When I moved out here, I really believed things were going to be good. That I really would make a new life out here.”

“Camille,” she began gently. “You dated someone. You thought he was a good guy, but his true colors came through. It just took a little while to see it this time. Happens all the time. You can still start over. It hasn’t even been two years since you’ve moved out here.” She grew quiet, her eyes on something in the distance. For a second it looked as if she was marveling over the beautiful sunset. Then I caught the suspicion in her eyes.

“We should start heading back,” I said. “It’s almost dark. And I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted. I have to work in the morning.” I stopped walking and turned around to head back to the house.

“How did he treat you badly, as you put it?”

The dreaded question. I sighed but kept walking, to force her to follow. “He cut me down all the time, said mean things. He’s really manipulative....”

She wasn’t following. I turned my head so I could see her, saw the corners of her lips pulled down into a frown. She was still staring off toward the sky, contemplating, but she hadn’t moved. Until she looked toward me without looking me in the eyes, wrapped her arms around her body and hugged herself. I stood there, waiting for her to catch up, but she clearly wasn’t ready to leave. Or finished with me.

“He must’ve treated you really badly for you to not say a word to me for a whole year.” She took a deep breath and glanced at my arms.