Always Wrong - Xyla Turner Page 0,19

that I had the man, or any man, stay at my place and I wasn’t freaking out about it.

“I’m sure if she tells that to Noah, he can make it happen,” he commented, before picking up his menu and perusing through the plethora of options.

Observing him, I noticed that he was polished, sure of himself, and had a sense of command around him. The same could be said about me, which meant that Jacquez and I would have to work through the power dynamic and think about this cohabitation that we were talking about. In the back of my head, I just thought maybe he’d pull out. See that there was something about me that he didn’t like and then say no. That he would realize that I wouldn’t be a good mother or the type of mother he wanted for his child, so I just assumed it would fall through. At some point. Those were my thoughts, which meant that all the power was in his hands. All of these things prompted me to ask, for the last time, “Why me?”

He put his menu down, looked up at me and gave me a slight smirk, lifting one side of his mouth.

“Why not you?” Jacquez asked.

“Let me phrase this differently: What type of mother do you want for your children?”

“A loving one. One that is confidant, aware, successful in her own right, smart, capable, and one that will do whatever she needs to for her family.” He spouted this off with no effort, as if it was something rehearsed.

With a deep stare, he asked, “What are your fears? Your real fears.”

“That this won’t happen,” I answered honestly. “That it’s somehow a hoax or some practical joke. Those are my thoughts, and I am trying to manage them, but if I am being honest, they are winning.”

Leaning forward, Jacquez asking in a low voice, “Did I not fuck you hard, like you begged me too? Cum in you, every fucking chance I got. Every drop of cum was pushed into your hot cunt. Babe, this is fucking real. And next week, when you’re ovulating, I will be back here to do the same thing. It is no hardship to make you nibble on my ear as you cum, or watch you throw your head back and bite that bottom lip when I’ve hit your spot. The way you grab my hair or even your light snores after I’ve put you to sleep. It’s real, and soon your body will began to transform with our child. Then I can show you all the ways I’m delighted that you’ve chosen to be the mother of my son, and I always want to make sure you know that.”

Well…

When he put it that way, it didn’t seem like there was a power dynamic that I couldn’t live with. It seemed fair and equitable, but still there was a kernel of doubt. Way in the back of my mind.

*-*-*

Once Jacquez flew back to London, he left me with a kiss on my lips as he turned to board his jet. He texted once he landed, but I was asleep. That morning, I texted him back saying that I was glad he’d arrived safely. Then I tried to go on about my day, but that was nearly impossible.

Being at the office was more of a blur. I wasn’t even sure if I’d had my coffee yet, but by the time I arrived back home, it seemed that his presence was still there. A faint scent of him remained. And if I sniffed hard enough, I could imagine that he was here. The couch, bed, bathroom, kitchen, and even the balcony were where the two of us had sex. This wasn’t about what we both wanted, which was a baby. No, I was not ovulating, and he knew this. Yet still he made sure that his mark was all over the place. So that I could never forget. I knew men like Jacquez. Powerful, smart, and always with a plan. The problem was, I tried to stay away from them, because I never wanted to be a part of their plans. In the case of Jacquez, I think I was too caught up already. He knew my secret. Therefore, he could exploit it was my thinking. Then what was I supposed to do?

I settled in to eat my dinner, and that was when my phone rang, showing that it was Jacquez. A part of me wanted to ignore