Always Wrong - Xyla Turner Page 0,11

lesser men, for sure.

Jacquez was not a lesser man, I quickly saw. I tried to dismiss him as such, but somewhere those tables turned. Even our first sexual encounter I took over like I always do. He let me, which I felt confirmed my ability to take charge of him. Maxine used to always say, “Girl, you’re going to need a strong man, because you’ll run over any other man.”

I realized a little bit before that wedding, but definitely there, that Jacquez was not to be played with. He did not let me take over that night or even in that conversation. My attempt to throw him off led him to shutting it all down.

Touché.

I could respect it. This was unchartered territory for me, and on some level, I needed his help with navigating it. Now, when we’re talking business, I don’t need help, but this—well, this is why I welcomed the co-parenting model. It was one thing to have a kid. It was another to raise a whole other human being, and God knows, I did not want to muck it up, as the Brits say. Why they substitute m for f was weird to me.

Jacquez’ words always have that slight accent, but his New York one is still thick. Combining the two makes his mouth filthy, but fucking sexy.

He’s definitely not like other guys I’ve fucked. I never really did relationships, to be honest. Had no time for them really. Which made me nervous about what Jacquez was proposing.

Living together?

Goodness.

That was a commitment.

I was willing though. Why? Well, I had not explored all the reasons as of yet, but I was more willing than I knew.

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Maxine was still on her honeymoon, so I didn’t want to bother her with my craziness. Knowing her, she would probably be like, “What the actual fuck? Have you lost your damn mind?”

She was really the most sensible of the both of us. Well, except when Noah was chasing her ass down. I mean, the man came from London about a damn restaurant review. It all started with a one-star review, and he was on her ass. This turned into love, but girl, she was fighting it from the jump. Noah Wolfe was not playing with her. Hence why they are in Fiji on their honeymoon. They had a really interesting story.

I would not call her about this shit. She’d probably persuade me not to go through with his proposal, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

I hoped.

My anticipation, well, anxiety was showing up at work. To the point that my assistant asked if I was doing okay. Jacquez was coming, so I was on edge, to say the least. I barked at my coffee delivery guy because it was not piping hot like I liked it. He tried to tell me something about having a lot of deliveries, but I guess when I held up my hand to shut him up with his excuses was when Tammy jumped in and thanked him. She then went around the corner to get me something that I liked.

I guess that wasn’t fair. I would need to apologize, but I do not play about coffee, and he knows that. Also, I might have snapped at my vice president. She did not have the work done that was assigned for a major project, and shit like that is a reflection on me and my company. I told her so. Just like that.

This was not my normal, which is why Tammy was asking if I was all right. Shit, I wasn’t. This man had me all in tangles and knots. My stomach was a bit queasy, and I was not sure if we were supposed to have sex when he came tomorrow or schedule it when I was ovulating. Shit, I needed to get that information for tomorrow, because he clearly told me to get this information to him so we could discuss.

I was a damn mess.

By the next day, I had everything I needed from my doctor and a new app that tracked my ovulation days. I stopped taking birth control, which was one reason why my doctor thought I might have miscarried. Half of me thought he was trying to calm me down, because I was in his office breaking down about how I might not ever have kids again.

He was much calmer and shared many instances where women have had many setbacks in regard to having miscarriages and then went on to have healthy