and rest my hand on her hair, trying to calm the sudden racing of my heart.
“He won.” Liv returns to us, her cheeks flushed with exertion and her eyes bright. “Extra whipped cream for Nicholas.”
“Me too,” Bella shouts.
“Of course.” Liv bends to pick Bella up and looks at me. “You, professor?”
“I’ll have some of yours.”
“Then I’d better get extra whipped cream too,” she says with a smile. “C’mon, kids. Order up.”
The three of them head for the hot chocolate stand. It’s so ordinary—a family of four having a picnic and hot chocolate in the park. How can something so normal feel so menacing?
“Hey, man.”
I glance up, lifting a hand to shade my eyes from the glare of the setting sun. Archer is standing in a shadow, his hands loosely on his hips.
“Saw you from the parking lot,” he says, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. “I’m meeting Kelsey for dinner at Azteca.”
“Good food there.”
“You just hanging out?”
“Yeah. Not a bad night for a picnic.” I nod to where Liv and the kids are standing in line. “And hot chocolate.”
“I’ll wait and say hi.” Archer glances at his watch. “I’m early anyway.”
He sits beside me. I fight the urge to move away. Archer and I have been on good terms the past few years, but we still don’t hang out much. And right now I don’t want him around.
I especially don’t want to talk to him. I can’t stand the thought that I might hint something is wrong. And if I give voice to this horror…even accidentally…then it’s out in the world. Then it’s real.
“How’s the fan club?” I ask, figuring that’s safe territory. “Kelsey up in arms about the groupies?”
“Nah, I think she likes the publicity it’s bringing to the show.” Archer helps himself to a few potato chips. “The marriage proposals are weird though.”
“You’re getting marriage proposals?”
“Yeah, from random women.” He shakes his head with a laugh. “Ironic that women I’ve never met want to marry me, but I still can’t get Kelsey to say yes.”
“You asked her again?”
“Not yet. I’ve been waiting all these years for her to bring it up, but she hasn’t.”
“Maybe she’ll come around now that you’re in such high demand.”
“Or maybe I need to fight for her instead of wait for her.” He scratches his head. “She’s a tough cookie. She does her best work when she’s challenged. Even provoked.”
I watch Liv as she turns to hand Nicholas a paper cup of cocoa. Her ponytail swings like a long, thick ribbon behind her. She’s challenged herself in countless ways over the years, and she’s fought battles that gave her a core of steel beneath her warm gentleness.
But this? Why the fuck would the universe put this on her? She doesn’t need another battle. She needs the life she’s created.
“I think it’s time for me to throw down the gauntlet,” my brother continues. “The Archey gauntlet.”
“Uncle Archer!” Nicholas hurries toward us, carefully balancing his cream-topped cup with one hand and waving at Archer with the other.
“Hey, slugger.” Archer and Nicholas exchange an elaborate series of fist-bumps before Archer picks up Bella for a hug. “Where’s my hot chocolate?”
With a generous sweep of her hand, Bella holds out her paper cup.
Archer obligingly takes a sip and gives Liv a grin. “Hey, you still need me to come check out that water pipe at the café?”
“Yes.” Liv groans dramatically and hands me a cup of hot chocolate. “It’s still leaking.”
“I can swing by around four tomorrow afternoon,” Archer offers.
“Great, I’ll be there. Just text me when you’re on the way.”
Archer spends a few minutes wrestling Nicholas and tickling Bella before he heads off to meet Kelsey.
Kelsey. We’ll have to tell her too. But I don’t want to tell anyone. I can’t even tell myself.
The sun sinks slowly, and when cold begins to snake through the air, we pack up and head home. Our bedtime routine is reassuringly normal—Nicholas and Bella run around in their pajamas, leaping off the bed and pretending they’re superheroes, while Liv and I cajole, order firmly, and finally threaten them with no TV tomorrow unless they get into bed.
I read to Nicholas while Liv reads to Bella, then we change places for a while before the kids finally drift off to sleep.
After their lights are out, I find Liv in the bedroom, pulling off her pants and T-shirt to change into her nightgown. Any other time, I’d stop to admire the sight of my wife standing there in her bra and panties, all