threw myself at you. I should be the one…”
I stand up and walk toward her. “No… we don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
But she doesn’t let me continue. She holds her hands up and stops me before I can touch her, before I can wrap my arms around her.
She pulls her shirt down and covers her beautiful body from me. “You need to go, Terry.”
My mouth falls open. “But let’s talk about this…”
Her eyes widen and she creases her forehead. “No… let’s not ever talk about this. It never happened.” She walks to the door and holds it open. “Please, I’m sorry, but I need you to leave.”
I pull on my shoes and walk to the door. I no sooner get through it and turn around to try one more time and she’s shutting the door in my face.
I stand here for the longest time. I don’t know what to do. My first instinct is to barge back into her house and force her to talk to me—hell, if she’d just let me hold her that would be enough.
I put my hands on the sides of the door and lean against it. I take a deep breath and all the images of her bouncing up and down on my lap only minutes ago are flitting through my mind. I push my hand through my hair and mutter, “Fuck” before turning around and walking back to my truck. I’ll give her a day. Maybe two. But this isn’t over. Fuck no, it’s just getting started.
April
I throw myself across the bed. I don’t know what I was thinking. There are so many things I could blame it on… hormones, stress, a number of things. But it would all be a lie. I wanted Terry. I wanted him like I’ve never wanted a man before. He’s always been good to me, but tonight, it was different. He was different. Hell, I was different.
I take complete blame. I should have let him walk away when he offered to. If I was a stronger woman, that’s exactly what I would have done. But I’m not. No, lying in his arms, the feel of his strong hard body against mine, well, I knew that I couldn’t turn him away.
I roll onto my back and throw my hand across my forehead. He probably thinks I’m insane. I acted like a complete lunatic, kicking him out of the house. Hell, I barely let the man get his pants pulled up. I can imagine what he thinks of me. He probably thinks that I’m some kind of slut, having sex only a few weeks after my husband died.
I stretch, feeling muscles in my body that I didn’t even realize I had. I’m going to wait a few days. Maybe we can act like it never happened.
I laugh out loud and it’s then that I begin to really question my sanity. I’m crazy anymore. I laugh because I know that I won’t be forgetting it, ever. I think the feeling of being in his arms is something I will always carry with me.
5
Terry
Three Days Later
I waited as long as I could. I worked twelve-hour shifts the last three days and I have the next two days off. All I’ve done is think of her. That’s it. I picked up my phone so many times to just call her and check on her, but I always stopped myself.
But when I got off work tonight, I couldn’t put it off anymore; I drove straight to her house.
I walk up the porch and push the doorbell, cross my arms across my chest and stand back.
The door slowly opens, and April peeks her head outside the crack. Her nose is red, her skin blotchy, and her eyes swollen.
I don’t even ask. I push on the door, forcing her back, and then shut it behind me.
The look on her face can only be described as shock. “What is it? Tell me what’s wrong?”
Instantly I think that she’s still upset from the other night, but my gut tells me that there’s something more.
Her eyes are wide, and she opens and closes her mouth quickly, but she’s not budging.
I take a step toward her and wrap my hands around her arms, holding her up and forcing her to look at me. “Tell me, April.”
She takes a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”
Shock hits me and I about fall backwards. Before I can say anything, she interrupts my train of thought. “Around three months pregnant… it’s Allen’s.” She’s crying