All Souls' Night - Renee Rose Page 0,235

you’re making me choose, then won’t. I’m through having this conversation with you. We had a deal. Tonight is your one and only. I held up my end of the bargain, did I not? You had an amazing time tonight, didn’t you?”

Tears pool in my eyes, and I try to blink them away. The fairytale is crumbling around me even as I try hopelessly to keep stacking up the bricks. “Yes, I did, but didn’t you? You act as if this was nothing. Just a day in the life of Damiano. Didn’t this mean anything?”

“Yes, it meant something. You’ve stirred things in me that I thought were long dead. But we can’t do this. We can’t continue on. You’re just too damned fragile!”

He drains the rest of the glass in a gulp and looks at me, his eyes wide and feral. It should scare me. I should be running away screaming, but I’m not. Instead, I’m inexplicably drawn to this man, this vampire, who captured my heart. I make my way over to him and kneel at his feet.

“Please,” I whisper, clutching his knee. “Please. I’ll do anything. I’ll let you do anything. Just don’t throw me out. Please. I have nowhere else to go.”

Damiano stands and brushes me aside as if I’m no more than lint. “You have a room for tonight. I suggest you rest for a bit and go to sleep. Tomorrow night, we’ll figure out where you can go.”

Standing, I start to reach out for him, only to put my hands back by my sides. He doesn’t want me. For the first time, I felt like I had finally found my family, my tribe, but no. I truly don’t belong anywhere. Whirling around, I race off to the room I slept in the night before. I have to get there before my heart shatters in front of him.

Chapter 8

Everything inside me cries out to gather Dahlia in my arms. I know she’s hurting. I don’t have to be otherworldly to figure that out. But it has to be done. Our worlds just don’t mix. Pain zips through my heart as her teary eyes—Alessandra’s teary eyes—look up at me. But I can’t do this. I can’t lose someone else. If not for those monks, who knows how many people I would have killed? If I lose control again, how many people will be at risk?

It’s not worth it. She’s not worth it. But, as much as I tell myself that, my heart doesn’t want to believe it. I want nothing more than to fall into bed with her and hold her close until the dawn. She’s the perfect little spitfire to keep me happy and entertained for centuries, but I can’t risk it. And I can’t lose Alessandra.

I sit for a moment and close my eyes, conjuring up Alessandra’s alluring eyes and quick smile. My favorite moment passes through my memory: her in my mother’s kitchen, flour dusting her nose as she tried to cook for me. The burnt mess near the fire, her trembling smile as she tried to apologize. My gut clenches. Gods, how I miss her.

And jumping into a relationship with a woman who has her eyes is not the way to show Alessandra honor. Fists clenched, I storm out of the room. I need air that isn’t laden with Dahlia’s scent. I need some space to think. As I pass by her room, her sobs reach my ears. Again, I feel the intense need to be by her side. How I wish I could just reconcile this, but there’s nothing to be done.

I make my way out of the hotel and just walk, my feet carrying me anywhere and nowhere. Remnants of the All Souls’ Night parade litter the ground, and I absently kick through the debris with my feet. Before I know it, St. Augustine’s Cathedral looms in front of me, its massive edifice gleaming in the moonlight. How long has it been since I’ve lit a candle for my beloved?

Guilt swamps me for a moment, and I stand there, unable to move, unable to think. All I can do is feel pain and sorrow, as strong now as it was back then. Heading into a side door, I pass by the pews. It’s surprisingly deserted. Of all days, surely this would be the one to remember past loved ones?

Shafts of color from the stained glass illuminate the building, turning docile frescos into hellacious scenes, each one bathed in varying shades of