All The Lonely People - David Owen Page 0,50

shake itself into pieces. She brought her hands slowly away from the wheel, as if it might explode if she made too sudden a move.

‘I almost hit them,’ she said.

Safa was wide-eyed, pressed back in her seat. ‘I have no more lungs left to shit.’

‘What if I’d . . .’

‘Hey, you didn’t, it’s okay,’ she said, leaning closer. ‘You’ve gotta admit . . . it was kind of exciting.’

The car was half on the pavement, half off, and Kat could do nothing but stare at her skewed view on the world.

‘That wasn’t me,’ she said. ‘I would never be that reckless.’

Safa reached across and put a hand on her arm. ‘I told you, the fade is a chance to be somebody new.’

For the first time, Kat didn’t relish the touch. She saw how, even laid on top of each other, their hands made an absence. Maybe the fade could make her who she wanted to be, but tonight it had made her foolhardy. It was luring her – daring her – to follow its dark path. Safa might already have gone ahead.

‘I just want to get rid of the car and go home,’ she said, pulling her arm away. That’s what they should have done in the first place. ‘Do we need to burn it or something?’

‘This isn’t Hollyoaks,’ said Safa. ‘Leave it like this and the police will tow it away soon enough.’

It couldn’t be traced back to Tru – Kat had heard him say that – but at least they would lose their car for good. They wiped down the steering wheel and dashboard, unsure if anybody would be able to see their fingerprints, and then left the car behind. The people they had almost hit were already gone.

Wesley wasn’t usually one to look for silver linings in bad situations, but at least nobody had punched him in the face. It meant he wouldn’t have to explain anything to Mum or Evie. Even so, he felt like home was the last place he wanted to go.

‘Where are you staying, anyway?’

‘With a mate,’ said Jordan.

They had stopped a few streets from the flat, and neither of them quite seemed able to look at the other.

‘You’ll be all right, yeah?’

Wesley nodded. ‘Thanks for stepping in.’

Jordan nodded back, shuffling his feet. ‘I’m sorry.’

There was no indication of how far the apology extended, but Wesley was more grateful for it than his brother would ever know.

They parted ways and, as soon as Jordan was out of sight, Wesley turned away from home. There was somewhere else he needed to be.

Kat’s hands shook the entire way home. They walked in silence, until they reached the corner that would send them their separate ways.

‘It was pretty fun,’ ventured Safa, smiling tentatively.

She could put this right. She had caught herself pretending to be somebody she wasn’t, playacting at being herself. It was time to remember what really mattered to her. The fade could still be a chance to do the things she had always wanted, but had been too scared. ‘There’s a march in London tomorrow,’ she said. ‘A protest for women’s rights.’

‘Sounds boring.’

‘I want to go. But not alone.’

‘Oh.’ Safa shrugged her lip. ‘Okay, I’ll go.’

Kat smiled. ‘Are you sure?’

‘If it’s important to you.’

It was, especially since seeing Niko Denton’s tweet about it. Before, Kat would never have had the courage to go. If the fade could give her this, she couldn’t waste it.

‘Text me the deets,’ said Safa, starting away down the road.

‘I can’t believe you just said deets,’ Kat called after her.

Safa stuck up her middle finger, and Kat turned towards home.

19

Whatever is Wrong with You, Is So Right For Me

Kat had never had any need to sneak into the house before, and although she should have been grateful she wouldn’t need to now, it was disappointing to simply open the door and step inside. She could slam the door and give an a cappella rendition of the Backwash theme song and Dad wouldn’t hear.

He was in the sitting room, the TV up loud, snoring on the sofa. An empty bottle of wine sat on the table beside him, and sweat patches were spreading wide from his armpits. ‘Dad,’ she said, standing over him.

He had always slept like it was the last chance he would ever get, and he didn’t stir now.

Tonight she had behaved like somebody she didn’t recognise. If Dad woke up, Kat wondered if he would see his daughter, another person entirely, or nothing at all. She didn’t know