All the Birds in the Sky - Charlie Jane Anders Page 0,92

hauling him to a death trap of a military school, and his sleepless haze was turning red. “Just please listen to what I’m telling you,” he said, planting the chair on all four legs and gripping the table with both fists. “We’re not giving up, goddamn it. We’re just taking a fucking step back. Don’t try to blackmail me, or, or pressurize me here. The fuck.”

“It’s not blackmail,” Isobel said, pouring herself more grappa. “It’s what will absolutely happen. You signed a contract; you committed to this project. And you’ve gotten the kid-gloves treatment, because you’re my friend. Do you remember when you came to stay with me, six years ago?”

“Yes,” Laurence said. His parents had been divorcing, and he’d needed a place to hide. He’d only just reconnected with Isobel, and she’d invited him to live in her crawl space for the summer while she pulled the plug on her aerospace start-up.

When Laurence thought back to that summer now, his main impression was of the desert’s heat, smacking you in the face the moment you stepped out of an air-conditioned space. Laurence had toted an iPad as he’d shadowed Isobel, trying to make whatever she needed materialize without her even asking. A girl named Ivy, with long black hair and cherry lip gloss, had made out with Laurence behind the ozone-scented silos late at night. Milton hung around wearing a golf hat and shorts—Laurence had been startled to realize that Milton was that old guy in the turtleneck who’d yelled at him for touching the rocket at MIT. Milton had kept saying things like, “Making the leap from a planetary infestation to an interplanetary diaspora is the most important task the human race has ever attempted. It is quite literally do or die.”

Isobel hissed a little as the grappa hit her throat. “You followed me like a puppy, while I was desperately trying to hold it together. We all thought you were just a starstruck kid, but then on the last day you brought us that physics paper when we were all sitting on that sofa with the broken leg, watching Nine Inch Nails videos and crying.”

“The paper about gravity tunneling,” Laurence said. “I remember.” Some insane physicist from Wollongong had speculated about a method of interstellar travel. Milton had started to dismiss it, but then he’d read the paper a second time and started scribbling notes on his arm. And that had helped lead to Milton founding the Ten Percent Project, with the idea of getting 10 percent of the population off-world within a few decades.

“So don’t sit there and try to pretend that you’re just an innocent bystander,” Isobel said. “You helped start this. And maybe you haven’t been paying attention to the news: The world is on the edge of the cliff here.”

“I’m aware.” Laurence shifted backward and forward in his chair until the scuttling of the wooden legs became too annoying.

“So if you don’t want me to tell Milton that you’re pulling back, don’t pull back. Or if you want to go back to square one, you can tell Milton yourself. But don’t put me in the position of covering for you. And don’t try to have it both ways. Okay?”

“Okay,” Laurence said.

Isobel reopened her laptop so she could obsess over the satellite map some more, and the light from the screen gave her a spectral quality, like someone slowly phasing out of existence.

They sat without talking for a while. Laurence slipped away to get ready for bed. He got up in the middle of the night to get some water, and found Isobel still sitting at that table, weeping over a nearly empty bottle, her face wracked with tremors. He helped her up the stairs to her bedroom, supporting her on his shoulders, and got her into bed. He stayed with her long enough to make sure she slept on her side.

24

“ARE YOU SURE we should be doing this?” Patricia asked when they were both naked but not yet past first base.

“Lately I’ve discovered certainty can be a kind of curse,” said Laurence.

They were in Laurence’s bedroom, where Patricia had never been before. It was a sort of in-law apartment downstairs from Isobel’s apartment, with a view of a back garden out the window, behind the twin bed with a Mighty Mouse quilt. On the opposite wall, he had a workstation, with docks for a laptop computer and a 19-inch monitor, plus shelves and racks of cannibalized electronics. Including five Caddies, two of them