The Alien Warrior King's Accountant - Loki Renard Page 0,50
pluck her from the street.
Lucky
“Oh my god, fuck you, Emmet!”
I scream the curse as my underwear comes floating out of the third story window. Bras, panties, a full rainbow of lingerie cascading through the sky, hurled by my loser ex boyfriend.
“No! Fuck you, Lucky! Fucking bitch!”
He’s cursing me out as if I deserve it. He’s the one who fucked around on me. He’s the one who stole money from my account. I’m just the one who gave his weed stash to the neighbors. Ever seen a grown man throw a tantrum over some gummy bears? I’m watching that shit happen right now.
“You keyed my fucking car!” He hurls the accusation, along with my best Victoria’s Secret.
“No I didn’t, you dick! Someone else who hates you did that.”
He pushes his head further out the window, and then pushes his long hair out of his eyes. “Who the fuck else hates me, Lucky?”
“I don't know? Everyone!?”
“It’s true!” Mrs Weber from downstairs sticks her head out the window too. “I hate you both!”
I open my mouth to scream, but the world gets all weird and wobbly…
* * *
Terrible
The human is in the process of materializing before me in the transporter bay. I have a uniform ready for her, along with a list of tasks. As soon as she is fully formed I will…
“YOU. FUCKING. DICK!”
She incarnates completely, and proceeds to scream the three words into my face at full human volume. I can only presume the outburst was buffering when she was taken, which means this is how she behaves as a mater of general course. How perfectly, predictably human.
“Who the fuck are you?”
She follows the curse up with another curse, this time in the form of a question. How wildly innovative.
“I am the alien who is going to whip you until you learn respect, and then put you to work.”
ORDER BAD ALIEN BOSS NOW!
* * *
Also coming soon: MONSTER KING
He’s an alien monster king.
And he is in a very bad mood.
King Brawn just crash landed on the Santa Monica pier. He took out the ferris wheel in the process, which left his ship in tatters. I’m a negotiator for the LAPD. First on scene. I find him wounded and bleeding, but with his royal arrogance fully intact.
I’m the one who is supposed to calm him down long enough for the military and feds to stop arguing about who has jurisdiction and who gets to try to kill him first.
His life is on the line, and mine is too.
I’ve seen too much.
They’ll take me out with him.
Destroy us both.
Cover it up.
Call it a day.
But that’s not how it plays out.
* * *
I was supposed to be the one who helped destroy him, but in the end, I’m the one who saves him.
Then I’m the one who gets alien abducted.
And I’m the one who falls for this brutal alien king.
* * *
God help me.
* * *
Read an exclusive excerpt:
I notice, as I once again draw close to the massive alien beast crushing various signage, that his eyes are closed, and he is breathing shallowly. He looks like he is in a lot of pain. The dark streaks of blood are still there, but they appear to be slowing in their spread. He might have some natural ability to heal from serious wounds. Either that, or he’s running out of blood and is about to pass out completely.
“Mr King Brawn?”
He opens an eye, pure gold from the heart of the universe glaring at me with immediate affront.
“You say that like it is a human name. Like Don Brawn or something equally pedestrian. My name is not King Brawn. My name is Brawn. My title is King.”
“So… Brawn, then?”
“KING!” He thunders the word, as if it is the most important thing in the world to him. I don’t think he’s going to die any time soon. At least, not from his current injuries.
“I got you something to drink, your majesty,” I say, handing him the sippy cup.
He takes it with two of his fingers and looks at it askance, bringing it vrery close to his fearsome, be-fanged face
“What is this motif?”
“They’re yellow duckies.”
“Why would this vessel be marked with,” he pauses, attempting to mimic my words. “Rubber Duckies? Are these in some way revered by your people?”
“No. The bottle belongs to Jerry’s daughter. She’s four.”
“So you give me the liquid of infants!”
At this point he’s just looking for an excuse to be offended.
“You need liquids. Drink it.”
“You do not tell me what to do, little female human,” he snarls, looking over my head. “What are those other humans doing?”
“Something else.”
“How incredibly vague,” he says, taking a drink from his little yellow sippy cup. I wish I had a camera. He looks absolutely adorable. There’s something about him, in spite of his grumpy demeanor, which makes me want to, I don’t know, kiss him or something.
“Good?”
“It is sweet,” he says. “But it is liquid.”
I guess it was juice after all.
“It looks like they are amassing weaponry,” he observes, squinting over my head.
“Probably,” I acknowledge. There’s not exactly any point in lying about it. He’s an advanced alien from a distant planet who just flew across vast swathes of space to destroy an icon. He might not know what a ferris wheel looks like, but he seems to know what tanks look like.
“Idiots,” I whisper under my breath. Talk about escalation of force. King Brawn is not dangerous to any of us. His ship is in pieces, and as big as he is, I doubt he could take a .50 cal and survive.
ORDER MONSTER KING NOW!
* * *
Other science fiction romance series which I have written, and you can read:
* * *
Possessive Aliens
The year is 3232. I prepare to descend upon humanity and take what my kind have taken for thousands of years: any female I please.
* * *
Human Pets
Owned. Cherished. Collared. Leashed. These alien masters know how to handle their human pets.
* * *
Feral Aliens
When I catch my neighbor trying to steal my cat, I do what anybody would do.
I hit him with a spade.
That's when I discover my mild mannered, cute, but boring neighbor is actually an alien. With fur. And claws.
* * *
Royal Aliens
Step into the world of Alien Kings! These dominant, possessive, powerful aliens claim their human mates as is their royal right.
Spanning many galaxies and species, each Alien King has a distinct set of desires which can only be sated by his fated human mate, a woman who will be captured, claimed, and thoroughly broken to his will if necessary.