considering staying on Luxiria for him, was frightening enough.
If they had sex, which they would if they continued what they’d been doing, it would be the end. At least, it would be the end of her old life, and Erin wasn’t about to give that up so readily.
Her appetite was lost because she was hungry for something else entirely. Something only Jaxor could give her.
“In some ways,” he said, “it is already too late. We have begun feeding the bond and already it grows hungry.”
Erin stiffened at his words, avoiding his eyes, staring into the fire instead. She’d been thinking much the same thing.
That it was already too late.
“Can I ask you something?” she whispered, though she didn’t think she wanted to know the answer.
“Tev,” he said, mirroring her hesitation.
Erin swallowed. “Have you ever heard of a fated pair not giving in?” She turned her head slightly, angling a look at him, searching for the answer in his eyes before he spoke it. “Have there ever been any that could resist it?”
Erin was making it sound like a sickness, a disease. Coupled with the memory of the love-struck faces of her friends with their mates, of observing them with one another, wanting that too, envious over that kind of love, made her feel even more torn.
If she gave in, would she have that kind of love with Jaxor? If they both accepted this and nourished it and watched it grow?
Erin had the feeling that they could have that kind of love. With time and trust.
Her hands shook with that realization and she stared down at them.
Finally, he said, “I do not know.”
“Tell me,” she said, because she heard something in his voice, reading him so easily.
He blew out a harsh breath. “There have been a few pairings over history, but they are stories. I do not know if they are true.”
A few? Over history?
Her gut sank, even as her heartbeat sped in relief.
“What happens if we deny it?”
He hesitated again. He didn’t want to tell her?
“Is it that bad?” she whispered.
“You are human,” he said instead. “There is a very good chance that you will not be as affected.”
Her brows pulled together, her lips pulling down into a frown. “And you? You aren’t human,” she pointed out needlessly. “You have the Instinct. Inside you, right?”
“Tev,” was what he replied with, which only served to frustrate her because he said nothing else.
“Jaxor.”
“I do not wish to lie to you,” he rasped, dropping his gaze towards the fire. Erin’s breath hitched. He sounded so…pained. “I do not know what will happen to me. I cannot predict that.”
Erin’s shoulders dropped. She couldn’t think of anything to say, so she simply nodded.
The fire crackled, smoke rising into the sky. Overhead, it was a clear night, alien stars and constellations she didn’t recognize shining down. Beautiful.
“I’m going to bathe now,” she whispered, standing from the fire. There was a knot lodged in her chest from their conversation. She’d hoped to find clarity from it, but in reality, she was more confused than ever.
Jaxor nodded. “I will go to the cave.”
He didn’t trust himself with her close and naked, it seemed.
“Okay,” she said, watching as he rose, putting out the fire. The base was still lit by a variety of lanterns, so Erin wasn’t worried about it being too dark to see.
Once he disappeared from sight, Erin stripped and bathed quickly, scrubbing at her skin and hair with the lathered soap granules. She shivered wildly in the falls, her nipples painful from how hardened they were. She leaped out as soon as she could and dried off, dressing in a fresh tunic from one of Jaxor’s chests.
When she made her way up to the cave, Jaxor was lying on his back, staring up at the cave ceiling. He had a lantern lit, but the flame was small.
When he saw her, he gestured for her to come. Biting her lip, Erin stepped over him and dropped down in her usual place against the cave wall, furthest from the door, on a plush little stretch of furs. When she lay down, Jaxor’s arms came around her.
Desperate relief made her eyes close. She was still shivering from the falls and Jaxor dragged more furs over them. Even though they’d avoided touching each other all day, they both shook with contentedness as he held her.
It surprised her how addicted she’d grown to his touch. She felt like she’d been going through withdrawals and when she finally got her fix, it