his brow furrow, mirroring words he’d said to her when he’d confessed his feelings, “only, I made a mess of the trial and I didn’t get the chance to. So I’ll tell you now and hope that you can forgive me for not telling you sooner.”
“Rixella—”
“Wait, please,” she said hurriedly, needing to get it all out. “And I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you about the baby.”
Air whistled through his nostrils and his gaze burned bright into her.
“I’m so sorry, Jaxor. I meant to tell you, I really did,” she whispered, her voice anguished. “And there’s no excuse for it. Absolutely none.”
“Why didn’t you?” he rumbled, his hand curling around the back of her neck, the movement so familiar. In a strange way, it was comforting. It made her feel safe.
“I was still so confused. About us. About what happened,” she confessed and he stiffened ever so slightly, but his gaze was steady. Those bright blue eyes that she wanted to look into forever. “And a part of me couldn’t think past the trial. That was all that mattered…that you would be safe.”
She breathed in his scent—that musky, delicious, warm scent all his own—and felt her heart thud with longing and memory. What she wouldn’t give to go back in time, to start over, to start fresh.
But Jaxor was safe, he was free. He was here.
And Erin realized that she wouldn’t trade this moment for anything in the world. Because this moment was important. For both of them. She needed to make amends, to make sure that he would never doubt her again.
“When Privanax confirmed that I was pregnant…no, even before then,” she corrected. “When I was in the dungeons and I began to suspect that I was, I knew that I couldn’t go back to Earth.”
Jaxor swallowed.
“So, I already knew that I would be staying on Luxiria when you first came to see me when I was healing in the labs. It was overwhelming. Everything that was happening. The Jetutians, the Mevirax. Knowing I would never see my family again, my home planet again. All while being in awe and, to be honest, in disbelief about the baby,” she whispered, watching as his eyes flickered with realization. “And then us. And your trial.”
“Vrax,” he cursed softly.
“It’s no excuse,” she finished, “but when I came to see you in your room that day, I had every intention of telling you about the baby. Everything else just seemed so much more…pressing.”
“I understand,” he murmured, his voice low.
But Erin still remembered the hurt in his eyes when her pregnancy had been revealed at the trial.
“I know what you thought,” Erin said, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. “But Jaxor, I didn’t keep it from you because I was ashamed of you. Because I didn’t think you’d make a good father.” She gave him a small smile. “Quite the opposite, actually.”
Jaxor’s eyes closed and Erin’s chest ached, knowing that her assumptions had been true. That was exactly what he’d feared.
And for the first time, Erin sensed her mate’s exhaustion. Her brows pulled and she bit her lip, reaching up to stroke his hair. He’d been locked away since he’d arrived in the Golden City, seeking his brother’s help to rescue her from the Mevirax. That was what the other women had told her, who’d learned it from their mates.
Even knowing that he’d be put on trial for returning, he still did because she’d been in danger.
There had always been the threat of death lingering over him. Erin couldn’t imagine the strain it must’ve put on him, especially considering that he believed their relationship was over. She remembered the way he’d asked her not to reveal their matehood, telling her it would make life difficult for her.
Always, he’d had her well-being in mind, and that knowledge cut her deeply. He’d been caring for her all along, though she’d perhaps not realized it…and now she only wanted to care for him.
“Come,” she whispered. “You need rest.”
His grip loosened as she pulled him towards the bed she’d been sleeping on. She hadn’t had much sleep either. Most nights, she’d tossed restlessly without him beside her.
She drew him down beside her and he looked up at her, his eyes flickering over her features, as if he needed to memorize her all over again.
They lay side by side, the late afternoon sun gently drifting down the walls of the room as they stared at one another.