Lille due to breakdown or exhaustion, I will never find more war work elsewhere.” She paused. Cameron raked a hand through his hair, but didn’t contradict her. “It’s just for a few more weeks,” Eve continued. “I can survive a few more weeks and then—”
“You know what he said when Edith Cavell was executed?” Cameron’s voice lowered, and he made another angry gesture in Allenton’s direction. “That it was the best thing that could have happened, because it got everyone on the home front angry at the right time. I do not like speaking ill of a fellow officer, but you must understand me: he wouldn’t care if you got caught like Violette and Lili, because dead girls mean more newspapers sold and more support for the boys in the trenches. I, however, am not in the habit of risking my people needlessly.”
“I’m not doing this needlessly—”
“You want revenge for Violette and Lili, because you love them. You want revenge, and if you can’t get it, you just want to die trying. Believe me, I know that feeling very well.”
“If I were a man you’d be calling me patriotic for wishing to continue in my duty to my country.” Eve folded her arms. “A woman wants the same thing and she’s suicidal.”
“An emotionally compromised asset is not an asset to her country. And your emotions are running far more wild than you let on. Anyone’s would be, in a situation like this one. You keep a calm face on, but I know you.”
“Then you know I will put emotion aside in the face of duty, just like any other soldier with orders to carry out. Like any man who takes the oath.”
“Eve, no. I forbid it.”
Calling her Eve—now there was a slip. She gave a wintry inner smile. He should know better than to give himself away like that.
“You will convince Allenton you’re unfit to return to Lille,” Cameron ordered, straightening his cuffs. “And then I’ll send you to Folkestone. I do not like circumventing a superior, but I see no other way. This matter is closed.”
He was turning, heading for the door. He’d go down and tell Allenton she was pleading breakdown, and that could not happen. Eve seized his hand, stopping him. “Stay with me,” she whispered.
He pulled back, his anger dropping away to something shuttered, wary. “Miss Gardiner—”
She reached up and tangled her hands in his undone collar, pressing her lips to the hollow of his neck. He smelled of Lifebuoy. “Eve.”
“I should not be here, Miss Gardiner.” His hands covered hers. Eve went up on her toes, whispering into his ear with a catch in her voice.
“Don’t leave me alone.”
It was a low blow, and she knew it. Cameron stopped, his hands warm on hers. She pressed, knowing just what to say.
“I saw Lili dragged away by Germans this morning. I . . . Please don’t leave me alone right now. I can’t b-bear it.”
Oh, but this was a dirty trick. It would only work because Cameron was a gentleman, a man who couldn’t bear to see a woman in distress. It wouldn’t work on René in a thousand years.
Cameron’s voice thickened. “I’ve lost friends too, Eve. I know what you’re feeling—”
“I want to be warm,” she murmured back, her hands slipping through his hair. How long had she wanted this? “I want to lie down, and be warm, and forget.”
“Eve—” He began to pull away again, his hand at her bare throat. The gold wedding band on his fourth finger warmed against her skin. “I can’t—”
“Please.” The grief stabbed her like a living thing. Even if just for a few minutes, she wanted to forget. She leaned up and kissed him, and the bed was at the back of her knees.
“I won’t take advantage of you,” he said, but he murmured it against her lips.
“Make me forget,” Eve whispered. “Make me forget, Cameron—” And he broke. He broke like a wall collapsing, pulling Eve against him with a stifled groan, and then they were drinking each other down, openmouthed and frantic. Eve pulled him to the bed before he could come to his senses, slipping the shirt from his shoulders. This was underhanded and wrong; she knew that. She didn’t start this out of passion, but because she meant to stop him from blocking her return to Lille. But that didn’t mean passion wasn’t there alongside the calculation, because truth was what made the best lies real. And the truth was that Eve had wanted