Alice Brown's Lessons in the Curious Art of Dating Page 0,18
Table For Two this morning,” Kate said lightly, before bursting into a huge grin. “And it was brilliant!”
“Brilliant?” Lou fought to keep the sarcasm out of her voice.
“I was sooo right about Alice; she’s amazing! She was really interested in me, and what I like, and the kind of man I’m after. I really think she’s going to find me someone. Not just someone; the one!”
Lou added more wine to her spritzer. She suddenly felt the need to actually taste the alcohol.
“Uh-huh,” she said tightly.
“She showed me pictures of the men on their books, and you know what? Some of them were really hot! There were some really handsome men with proper jobs and eyebrows that didn’t meet in the middle and everything!”
Lou smiled thinly.
“So, anyway, I pointed out a few I liked, and Alice has given me a form to fill in to help her narrow it down some more. And once I’ve sent it back to her she’s going to work out a match. She said I should have my first date next week!”
“Next week? It’s a bit sudden, isn’t it?” Lou’s voice sounded strange.
“Now I’ve set the ball rolling I want it to be tonight!” Kate was fizzing with excitement. “And it’s going to be a real old-fashioned date; you know, dinner in a restaurant. They recommend you don’t go to pubs, as there’s nothing to do with your hands other than drink, and you’ll get too drunk to remember any of it. Apparently your first date should be over lunch, but I’d never get away from work. So I’ve told her I can only do dinners and that I want to start ASAP. I can’t wait! It’s so exciting!”
Lou quietly sipped her drink and looked at her friend, who she’d never seen look so energized or so beautiful. She had a strange sinking sensation. This wasn’t the Kate she knew. She didn’t like this Kate. Or this dating agency idea, for that matter. It just seemed so, so . . . Lou didn’t know what. But she knew she didn’t like it.
AUDREY
It was fast shaping up to be one of those days. First Audrey had slept through her morning alarm. She couldn’t think how it had happened, as she prided herself on being a “morning person.” She’d dressed in a hurry and it was only as she was scuttling out of the front door that she’d noticed the run in her tights. She’d chased back into the house and had only just made it to work on time, her hasty journey giving her painful indigestion which three cups of chamomile tea had so far failed to ease.
And on top of all this, she’d had the misfortune to take a phone call from Maurice Lazenby, Table For Two’s longest-serving client and a whiner of epic proportions. As any matchmaking bureau chief knows, male clients are hard to come by, so shoddy manners and diva-like complaints are tolerated with gritted cheeriness. Men must be retained at all costs. If female clients ever found out quite how low the male-to-female client ratio was, Audrey doubted they’d ever join at all. So, she forced herself to breathe deeply and give him the soft-handed treatment she’d spent so many years perfecting.
“Well, Maurice,” she explained once there was a suitable gap in his diatribe, “the other women we’ve shown your profile to haven’t been interested in meeting you. You’re not their type.”
“What do you mean?” Maurice asked peevishly.
Audrey sighed. Technically Maurice was Alice’s client. Alice should already have managed his expectations.
“Women like sporty men, high earners; men who are interested in animals and children and do all those fashionable, dangerous hobbies with parachutes and airplanes and funny bits of elastic. The ladies you’re after are the crème de la crème. They’re looking for men who’ll whisk them off for a surprise trip to the ballet . . .”
Audrey could hear Maurice start to interject.
“. . . in Paris,” she added heavily. “Now, Maurice, I know you’ll thank me for telling you this, I’m not one to soft-soap. You need to lower your sights. Now, are you sure you wouldn’t like Alice to organize another rendezvous for you with Hayley? The veterinary nurse with the funny finger. I’m sure she’d be amenable for a second date.”
Eventually an exasperated Audrey had handed Maurice over to Alice to pacify. He knew he was supposed to speak to her anyway, so heaven knows why he was bothering her with his whining.