what?... We don't know, do we? We won't for another seven months. Oh well, it isn't long to wait."
He remained silent while their coffee and tea was set before them, then protested, "For God's sake, Gwen, let's be serious about this."
"Why should we be? Especially if I'm not. After all, if anyone's worrying, it ought to be me."
He was about to object again when Gwen reached for his hand under the table. Her expression changed to sympathy. "I'm sorry. I suppose it really is a bit shattering---for both of us."
It was the opening Demerest had been waiting for. He said carefully, "It needn't be shattering. What's more, we don't have to be parents unless we choose to be."
"Well," Gwen said matter-of-factly, "I was wondering when you'd get around to it." She snapped her compact close, and put it away. "You almost did in the car, didn't you? Then thought better of it."
"Thought better of what?"
"Oh really, Vernon! Why pretend? We both know perfectly well what it is you're talking about. You want me to have an abortion. You've been thinking about it ever since I told you I was pregnant. Well, haven't you?"
He nodded reluctantly. "Yes." He still found Gwen's directness disconcerting.
"What's the matter? Did you think I'd never heard about abortions before?"
Demerest glanced over his shoulder, wondering if they could be overheard, but the clatter of the coffee shop, the buzz of conversation generally, were all-pervading.
"I wasn't sure how you'd feel."
"I'm not sure either." It was Gwen's turn to be serious. She was looking down at her hands, the long slender fingers he admired so much now clasped in front of her. "I've thought about it. I still don't know."
He felt encouraged. At least there was no slammed door, no blank refusal.
He tried to make himself the voice of reason. "It's really the only sensible thing to do. Maybe in some ways it's unpleasant to think of, but at least it's over quickly, and if it's done properly, therapeutically, there's no danger involved, no fear of complications."
"I know," Gwen said. "It's all terribly simple. Now you have it; now you don't." She looked at him directly. "Right?"
"Right."
He sipped his coffee. Perhaps this was going to be easier than he had thought.
"Vernon," Gwen said softly, "have you considered that what's inside me is a human being; that it's alive, a person---even now? We made love. It's us, you and me; a part of us." Her eyes, more troubled than he had yet seen them, searched his face for a response.
He said emphatically, his voice deliberately harsh, "That isn't true. A fetus at this stage is not a human being; nor is it a person, not yet. It could be later, but it isn't now. It doesn't have life or breath or feeling. An abortion---particularly this soon---isn't the same as taking a human life."
Gwen reacted with the same quick temper she had shown in the car on their way to the airport. "You mean it might not be such a good thing later on? If we waited, then had an abortion, it might not be so ethical when the baby was perfectly formed, its fingers and toes all there. To kill it then might be a little worse than now. Is that it, Vernon?"
Demerest shook his head. "I didn't say that."
"But you implied it."
"If I did, I didn't mean to. In any case, you're twisting words around."
Gwen sighed. "I'm being womanly."
"No one's more entitled to be." He smiled; his eyes moved over her. The thought of Naples, with Gwen... a few hours from now... still excited him.
"I do love you, Vernon. I really do."
Under the table he retrieved her hand. "I know. It's why this is hard for us both."
"The thing is," Gwen said slowly, as if thinking aloud, "I've never conceived a child before, and until it happens a woman always wonders if she can. When you find out, as I have, that the answer's yes, in a way it's a gift, a feeling... that only a woman knows... that's great and wonderful. Then suddenly in our kind of situation, you're faced with ending it all, of squandering what was given." Her eyes were misty. "Do you understand, Vernon? Really understand?"
He answered gently, "Yes, I think so."
"The difference between you and me is that you've had a child."
He shook his head. "I've no children. Sarah and I..."
"Not in your marriage. But there was a child; you told me so. A little girl; the one from the 3-PPP Program"---Gwen gave the